


You and I Are the Same

by Yvhvhvtke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Badass Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester First Meet, Castiel and Dean Winchester Live Together, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel and Gabriel are cousins, Castiel is 26, Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is 20, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Demisexual Castiel (Supernatural), Demisexual Dean Winchester, Demisexuality, F/F, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Model Charlie Bradbury, Model Dean Winchester, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Photograper Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Rope Bondage, Sam Winchester is 16, Sex Toys, Shibari, Smut, Stripper Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-03-02 05:52:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 32,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yvhvhvtke/pseuds/Yvhvhvtke
Summary: Castiel frequents a strip club for the sole purpose of seeing “Michael” after his cousin dragged him to it. Dean ends up being his muse and a whole lot more.Note: Please read tags. There is attempted non-con and past non-con of a minor that gets mentioned





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like this one! I’m enjoying writing it.

Castiel was not the type of person you’d typically find hanging out in a strip club, but since his cousin, Gabriel, had tricked him into going to one two weeks ago he’d been back every night. Most of the night he sat there bored out of his mind. He didn’t care much for the guys that were up there all oiled up and gyrating their hips. He ignored their offers for a lap dance. He was there for one reason. Michael.

Michael was gorgeous, and coming from Castiel that meant a lot. Castiel assumed they were fairly similar in height. Michael’s body was flawless. His skin a beautiful tan, and not that fake spray tan some of the other guys had, Michael’s tan was from spending time in the sun. His freckles were easy to see, even from a distance, but Castiel was certain that up close the man had even more. His body was built beautifully from his chest to his abs to the muscles in his arms and legs. Castiel could only assume that if this man existed eons ago the Greeks would have carved statues in his honor. But even with how beautiful his body was, the thing that caught Castiel’s attention the most were his beautiful jade green eyes.

Castiel didn’t understand why he was so drawn to this man. He’d never been drawn to someone like this before. It confused him and it made him keep coming back. He’d been able to determine that he wasn’t sexually attracted to Michael, which was a relief because that would have had him questioning himself as a demisexual. No. Something else kept him coming back.

He always sat at a table toward the back, hoping it would deter the dancers from trying to initiate something with him. For the most part it did. Sitting toward the back he was able to observe the dancers and the patrons. One table always stood out to him and he’d decided on the first night he didn’t like them. He knew nothing about the guys that occupied it, but he knew the look in Michael’s eyes every time he saw them or they called out to him and he didn’t like it.

Castiel decided that tonight he was going to do something. Tonight he’d find where they were sitting and sit between them and where Michael would enter the room to do his rounds. He wasn’t sure what he’d do to intervene, but something was telling him he had to.

Castiel entered the club and set his sights on the table in question. The guys were already there so he looked around and decided on where he wanted to sit and made his way over and sat down. He was close enough that he could hear the guys talking and what he heard was making his blood boil. No wonder Michael didn’t like seeing them there. 

Castiel suffered through the first few acts and actually gave dancers a few bills just to leave him alone and then Michael was on the stage. Castiel watched as he moved his body to the music, all with the ridiculous wings strapped to his back. He watched at Michael’s eyes fell on the table behind him and a look of panic flashed across them before it was gone. Castiel’s mind was made up. One way or another Michael was not going to make it to that table tonight, especially not after what he’d heard.

Michael’s dance was over and Castiel waited for him to come out the side door. When he did he didn’t look as confident as he normally did and he was walking straight for the table behind him, not making his way across the room as he normally did. Castiel panicked and sprung into action. He whipped out his wallet, pulling out a bill and waving it in Michael’s direction. The other man glanced his way and seemed surprised, but turned and walked over to him.

“Decided to come out of the shadows I see.” Michael said with something like relief in his eyes.

Castiel blushed slightly. “Yeah. Uh. How much for a private dance?”

Michael glanced at the bill in Castiel’s hand, his eyes inadvertently sweeping across the other table. Cas saw real fear in his eyes for a moment.

“Uh. That’s enough. Follow me.” Michael said as he took Castiel’s hand and escorted him to the private rooms. 

Michael arched his brow when Castiel handed him the bill. He shrugged as he stuffed it in his own g-string then pushed Cas down on the chair.

“Wait!”

“What?”

Castiel rubbed his hands on his pants. “How much for all night?”

Michael took a step back. “I don’t do that shit. Some of the other guys might.”

Castiel swallowed hard. “What’s an amount you can’t say no to?”

Michael rubbed the back of his neck. “I dunno. Four thousand.” He said knowing nobody in their right mind would pay that.

“I’ll pay five.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “I, uh, I...I don’t do that.”

Cas sighed. “You said you wouldn’t say no to four. I’m offering five. Do I need to make it six?”

Michael looked torn. “Why? You could offer anyone else that works here way less and they’d jump at it. Why are you willing to pay that much for me?”

“I know you don’t want to walk out of this room and go back out there.” Michael glanced at the wall toward the rest of the club as he crossed one arm over his body, grabbing his upper arm. “I’m offering you an out.”

Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Six thousand.”

Castiel let out the breath he’d been holding. “Can we go out a back door?”

Michael nodded. “Just, uh. I need to change and get my stuff. Um. Come with me.”

Castiel followed him to a locker room and purposefully didn’t look when Michael stripped out of his costume. He did catch the odd look he was given though. Michael changed into jeans, a T-shirt, and flannel then grabbed his duffel and led Castiel out the back.

“Where’s your car?”

Castiel led Michael to his ‘76 Trans Am. Michael ran his hand up the hood as he walked to the passenger door.

“Nice car.”

“Thanks.” Castiel said as he unlocked the door and got behind the wheel, Michael getting in next to him. Castiel pulled out of the lot and started driving. After awhile Michael gave him a questioning look.

“What?”

“We’ve passed like six hotels.”

Castiel glanced at him. “We’re not going to a hotel. We’re going back to my place.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Uh. Yeah. That’s not cool. Just take me back.”

Castiel looked at Michael as he gently placed his hand on his knee. “You don’t want to go back. Trust me.”

Michael took in a shaky breath. “Ok.”

Castiel drove until they reached his home. He parked in the driveway and watched as Michael checked it out. Then led him inside where the other man continued to look everything over with a critical eye. “Nice place.”

Castiel smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Michael dropped his bag near the couch and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, uh where do you wanna start this?”

Castiel ignored his question as he walked into the kitchen, flipping the light on. “Michael? Are you hungry or thirsty?”

“Uh, what?”

“Would you like something to eat or drink? I’d imagine you’d want something after your routine. Just thinking about dancing like that makes me hungry and thirsty.”

Michael slowly walked into the kitchen. “Yeah. Ok. What do you have?”

Castiel looked in the fridge. “I have enough leftover lasagna that we could share. As far as drinks I have water, sodas, beer, and some wine.”

“I’ll take a water and yeah, the lasagna sounds great.”

Castiel got the food out and stuck it in the microwave to reheat it. As it was warming he grabbed two glasses, filling them both with water then handed one to Michael, who drank it down. Castiel arched an eyebrow at him.

“Like you said, dancing like that makes me thirsty.” Michael moved to the fridge to refill his glass then sat on a chair at the island. 

Castiel put food on two plates, putting one in front of Michael and the other in front of himself. Michael started digging in immediately. “Dude, this is good.”

“Thank you. And for the record my name’s Castiel.”

Michael looked up from his food, swallowing what he’d just chewed. “Castiel. I, uh, my name’s not Michael, but you probably already knew that.”

“I did. You don’t have to tell me your real name, though.”

“Dean.”

Castiel smiled softly. “It’s nice to meet you, Dean.”

“Yeah. You too, Cas. So, um, what exactly are we doing here? I mean I’m not complaining. The foods awesome, but this isn’t exactly what I expected. For what your paying I expected you’d tie me up in a playroom or something.”

Cas tilted his head. “Would you rather I do that?”

Dean shifted nervously. “Not really. I just don’t get why you were so set on spending the night with me.”

“Who were those guys at the table behind me?”

Dean’s body stiffened. “The one guy that was in black...his name’s Dick. It’s fitting for him really. He’s been trying to get me to agree to a night for a while now.” Dean’s eyes widened as he looked up at Cas. “You heard him say something didn’t you? That’s why you came out of your corner and insisted I leave with you.”

Castiel ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve heard their lewd comments before and I’d seen how uncomfortable they made you. Tonight I heard them say that since you wouldn’t agree they’d make the offer to your boss so you’d have to agree.”

Dean held his hand over his mouth. “Oh shit.”

“Dean, the things they were saying they were going to do to you tonight… I couldn’t let it happen. It wasn’t only going to be Dick. They were all going to get a turn.”

Dean’s tear filled eyes met Cas’. “You brought me here to save me?”

“Yeah.”

“Crowley sent me out there to see Dick. If you hadn’t waved that bill at me…oh shit. Crowley’s gonna be pissed.”

Cas reached across the island, placing his hand on Dean’s arm. “You can’t go back. If you do…”

“I’ll be forced to go with him.” Dean put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t have another option. If it was just me then I’d just struggle, but I gotta take care of my brother. I gotta keep a roof over his head. If I quit then I’m gonna lose the shithole Crowley let’s us stay in.”

“Are you very handy?”

Dean lifted his head looking at Cas with his brow furrowed. “Yeah. Why?”

Cas glanced around a little. “I could always use help here. I used to have a company that maintained things for me, but they hired new people without telling me and I didn’t like that people I didn’t know were coming to my house so I fired them.”

Dean’s lips curled up in a small smile. “You don’t like strangers in your house but you paid a stripper to come hang out with you?”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean. “Do you want the job or not?”

“Is sex part of the job description?”

Cas’ eyes widened. “No! I’m demisexual.” Dean laughed, confusing Cas. “What?”

“Seriously? Me too.” Dean’s face fell. “I’ll still need someplace to live.”

“Oh! I meant to say room and board would be part of you working here.”

“...For me and Sammy?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t let your brother be homeless.”

Dean held his hand out to Cas. “I’ll take it.”

Cas shook Dean’s hand. “Good. I’d like you to start immediately.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas moves Dean and Sam into his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t plan to add a second chapter so soon, but it wouldn’t stop saying it’s a completed work without me doing so 🙄

After driving thirty minutes back towards the club Dean directed Cas to their apartment. The two of them entering the run down building.

“Sammy? You got your stuff packed?”

“Almost!”

Dean glanced at Cas then went into the apartment’s only bedroom and started packing his own clothes.

“You sure we can trust this guy Dean?”

Dean smiled at Sam. “Yeah. He’s a good guy. He, uh, got me out of a bad situation tonight. That’s kinda why we’re moving so quickly.”

Sam looked at Dean with wide eyes. “You quit your job.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

“Good. Do you know what school I’ll going to?”

“Uhhhhhh.”

Cas stepped into the doorway and casually leaned against the door jam. “The local high school is Clear Creek.”

Dean jumped and grabbed his chest. “Dammit, Cas.”

“My apologies.”

“Clear Creek? Dean! That means we’re in the district with Clear Springs!”

Dean gave Sam a look that said ‘and?’.

Sam rolled his eyes. “The college prep school I talked to you about when we moved here?”

“Oh.” Dean sighed as he rubbed his hand down his face. “Wasn’t it outside of our budget? I mean don’t get me wrong, Sammy, I’d love to send you there, but-“

“But nothing. If Sam makes the grades required for that school then his tuition will be part of our agreement.”

“Cas, man, you don’t have to do that. You’re already doing way too much for us.”

Cas waved Dean off. “Education is important. If he’s wanting to get into a good college then going to that school could put him at the top of the list for the best scholarships.”

Dean sighed, not wanting to make an issue of it in front of Sam. He packed his stuff noticing Cas looking around. “What?”

“Crowley made you pay to live here?”

“Yeah.”

Cas shook his head. “I wouldn’t put it past him to tell Dick where to find you.”

Dean’s whole body tensed and he glanced at Sam. “You got everything packed?”

“Yup.”

“Go put it in the Trans Am. We’ll be right out.” Dean watched Sam go out the door then slumped over the bed.

“Dean?”

“I hadn’t even thought about him doing something like that, but you’re right. Fuck. We need to get out of here.”

“Is anything else yours?”

Dean looked around. They had acquired a few odd pieces of furniture, but nothing that was worth coming back for. “Nah. Everything else stays.” He said as he walked out to the Trans Am, putting his bags in the back then getting in. Cas followed him, looking around before getting in and driving the wrong way down the street.

Dean glanced at him. “Why are we going this way?”

“Saw an SUV back there and they left when we did. If they’re following us then I want to throw them off.”

Dean sunk down in his seat. “Shit.”

Cas drove responsibly as he kept watching the SUV following them. He glanced over at Dean with a twinkle in his eye. “Hold on tight.” He watched the light go to yellow and floored it through the intersection as it turned red. He took a sharp right at the next turn then the next left then a right and a left, stair stepping up the streets until he got to a main road and turned towards home. His eyes continued to look for the SUV, but he never saw it again. He made a few more random turns before turning into his neighborhood and into his driveway.

“You used to losing a tail, Cas?” Dean asked as he got out and grabbed his stuff.

Cas shrugged. “I’ve had to do it once or twice.” He said as he went to the door, unlocking it.

Sam and Dean followed him inside, Sam looking around in awe.

“So where do you want us to put our stuff?”

Cas fidgeted with his keys. “Um. I have a few spares in the main house you can choose from...or if you’re more comfortable you can have the pool house.”

Dean watched Cas for a moment. “We should be fine in here.”

Cas’ body relaxed as he looked up at Dean with a smile. “Good. My room is upstairs. It’s the last door on the left. There’s four other rooms up there. You can pick whichever you want.”

Sam ran up the stairs to check out the rooms. “Dean! These room are huge!”

“The biggest ones mine!”

“Jerk!”

“Bitch!” Dean said as he smiled at Cas who was laughing at their exchange. “I better go claim my room.”

“Of course.”

Dean walked up the stairs, finding Sam in the room he’d claimed. “Get some sleep, Sammy. We’ll have to go to the school tomorrow and get things squared away.”

“Ok, Dean. Night.”

“Goodnight.” Dean said as he pulled the door closed then chose a room for himself. Sam was right. The rooms were massive. He set his stuff down as he took in the room. The closet itself could fit a twin bed in it. He glanced at his bags. It was sad to think he could fit his entire life into just a few bags. 

Dean went into his bathroom, getting a shower and brushing his teeth before changing into his pajama bottoms. He could hear Cas moving around so he exited his room and walked down to Cas’ knocking softly.

“Come in.”

Dean pushed the door open, his eyes taking in Cas’ room before falling on Cas, who was sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard and similarly dressed.

“Did you need something?”

Dean walked into the room, sitting on the foot of the bed with his legs crossed. “Why me? Why’d you pick me over all the other guys at the club?”

Cas placed his bookmark in his book and set it down. “Honestly? I’m not sure. My cousin dragged me there a few weeks ago.”

Dean laughed softly. “I remember seeing you that night. You looked so uncomfortable and out of place.”

Cas nodded. “That’s how I felt. Gabe is all about sexualizing someone’s body. He has no problem shoving bills in someone’s underwear or paying a little extra for a happy ending during a lap dance.”

Dean blushed slightly. “Yeah. I think he got a few that night and tried to get one from me. When I saw how much you were offering tonight I thought that’s what you wanted. It’s not my thing, but I was willing to do that over talking to Dick.”

“I’m glad you chose to take my offer...all of them.”

“Me, too.”

“So, anyhow, Gabe dragged me there. I wasn’t interested in watching any of you up there dancing, but then you came out. There was just something about you. I still can’t place what it was or what drew me to keep going to see you. I started noticing Dick’s table and the things they’d yell at you. I saw how you reacted to them...how you seemed scared of them. How they’d touch you inappropriately when you were on the floor and nobody would stop them.” Dean looked down as he played with the hem of his pant leg. “Tonight I just planned on being a barrier. I planned on getting your attention before you could get to them. When you came out and headed straight for them I sprung into action. I didn’t even pay attention to what I pulled out of my wallet. I just knew that if you made it to their table…”

Dean continued messing with his pant leg. “Yeah. Crowley told me Dick paid for time with me. I thought he just meant a lap dance and probably a happy ending. I didn’t know…” Dean wiped away some tears. “If you hadn’t been there… if you hadn’t gotten me out of there… I could be… Fuck, they could have gotten Sammy, too.”

“You’re safe now. Both of you are.”

Dean chewed on his lip then crawled up the bed, straddling Cas’ lap. Cas stiffened at the contact. Dean gently took Cas’ face in his hands the pressed their lips together. He ran his tongue over the seam of Cas’ mouth then slowly slipped it in when Cas’ lips parted. One of Cas’ hands found Dean’s hip as the other carded through his hair. There was no heat behind the kiss. It was filled with all the thank yous Dean would never be able to voice and all the emotions Cas felt knowing what he’d saved the brothers from. Dean slowly pulled back, resting his forehead against Cas’ as he swallowed hard, blinking back tears.

Cas scratched his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I know.”

Dean shook his head slightly. “No. You don’t. You don’t know what we’ve been through. You don’t know what I’ve had to sacrifice just so Sammy would have a roof over his head and a full stomach. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done.”

“Can you cook?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s a good start.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Ok. So breakfast in the morning. Any requests?”

“Coffee.”

Dean laughed then kissed Cas softly. “Ok. Coffee and food.” He said as he got off the bed and headed for the door. “Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets an annoying visitor and Sam gets registered for school.

Dean woke up early and started on breakfast. He glanced up when Cas walked in yawning and rubbing his eyes, his hair sticking up everywhere. Dean blushed and looked back at the food he was cooking. “Sorry about last night.”

“Morning.” Cas said as he poured himself some coffee and took a big sip. “Which part of last night are you sorry for?”

Dean focused on the bacon. “The kiss. I shouldn’t have done that. I realized you have touch aversion after I did.”

Cas took another sip, watching Dean over the top of his mug. “I do, but...it was...nice.” Dean glanced at Cas. “There weren’t any sexual feelings in it. It felt like we were saying what we both needed to without actually saying it.”

“So I didn’t make things weird?”

“No.”

Dean nodded as he worked on the food. “So why’d you want us in here?”

“Huh?”

Dean glanced at Cas. “You gave us an option of staying in here or having the pool house, but I could tell you wanted us to stay in here.”

Cas fidgeted. “If you’ve changed your mind it’s ok.”

“I haven’t. I just thought you’d want us out there so we’d be out of the way. I mean how are you going to explain this to friends when they come over?”

“...I don’t get many visitors.”

Dean glanced from the food back to Cas. “You were afraid that if we chose the pool house you’d only see me when you needed me to work on something.”

Cas sighed and looked down. 

Dean started to say something when the front door opened and both men looked in its direction. “Cassie, my boy! One of my amigos told me you went to the back with Michael and never came back out!” Gabe rounded the corner and took in the two men in their pajamas and bare chests. “Well, hello there Michael.”

Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to the bacon, taking it off the heat.

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are you doing here, Gabe?”

“I had to come see if the rumors were true!” Gabe said as he moved closer to Dean and smacked his ass. “Thought this angel said he didn’t do more than dancing. Guess my Cassie just has the magic touch!”

Dean grumbled as he put food on a plate. “Sammy! Breakfast!”

“Oooooo. You snagged two of them? I didn’t know you had it in you, cuz!”

Dean glared at Gabe, about to go off on him, but Cas held up his hand. “Gabriel, I’d like you to meet Dean. Dean will be staying here and helping me maintain the house.” He then motioned to Sam when he stumbled into the kitchen. “I’d also like you to meet his little brother, Sam. Guys, this is my annoying cousin, Gabriel.”

“Oh I bet Dean here will be helping to maintain more than just the house.” Gabe joked as he went to smack his ass again.

Dean grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “Touch my ass again and I’ll break your hand.”

“Oooo. Feisty. I like that.”

Dean glared at Gabe as he released his hand and made a plate for Cas, putting it in front of him with a soft smile. He rolled his eyes as Gabe wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling their heads together.

“So, did you start with cleaning the pipes last night, Dean-o?”

“Gabe!”

Sam choked on his food.

Dean shoved Gabe away. “I liked you better when there were bouncers that could throw your ass out for touching me.” He then turned back to the food, making his own plate and sitting next to his brother.

Gabe looked at the stove. “Awww. Come on. You couldn’t save any for me?”

“Fuck off, Gabriel.” Dean said before putting a bite of pancakes in his mouth. 

Cas gave Dean an amused smile. 

Gabe fell into an empty chair. “Good thing I ate before coming over, but you’d think you’d be nicer to the guy that brought Cassie to you.”

Dean stopped mid bite to consider it. “Nah. I was nice enough when I didn’t break your hand.” He said before putting the food in his mouth.

Cas snickered before taking another sip of his coffee.

Gabe looked around at the three of them. “So this is what living with a stripper is like? Boooooring.”

“I’m not a stripper.”

“Ok, former stripper.”

Dean set his jaw. “I did what I had to so we’d have food on the table. Just because it was my job for a little while doesn’t mean it’s what I am.” He pushed away from the island and went upstairs to his room.

Cas sighed and shot Gabe a look before following Dean.

Sam looked at Gabe. “You’re an asshole. You know that, right?”

Gabe shrugged. “Eh.”

Cas gently knocked on Dean’s door before pushing it open. “Dean?”

“I’m fine, Cas.”

Cas walked into the room and sighed when he saw Dean wiping away tears. “I can kick him out.”

Dean shrugged. “Won’t make any difference. Anyone that saw me on that stage will think the same thing. Doesn’t matter that I didn’t want to do it.”

“I doubt you’ll run into many guys here that frequented that club. Most people around here tend to visit the more upscale places here.”

“You were there.”

“Yes, because Gabriel told me he’d found the best place for angel cake across town. I had no idea he was talking about a strip club.”

Dean smiled a little. “So you really went across town with him thinking you were getting angel cake?”

“I had my doubts, but for what it’s worth, he was right.”

Dean’s eyes lifted and met Cas’. “What’s going on between us, Cas?”

“I...I don’t know. I just know I want a chance to get to know you better.”

“I’d like that, too.”

Cas smiled. “We should probably get ready to go to the school. I’m not sure how long it’ll take to get Sam registered.”

“You sure you’re ok paying his tuition?”

“Yes. Now get ready. I’ll let Sam know he should get ready.” Cas said as he left the room closing the door. He went out to the balcony over the living room. “Sam? We need to get ready to go to the school. Dean’s already getting ready.”

Sam ran up the stairs to his room.

“School?” Gabe questioned.

“Yes. We have to register him at the local high school.” Cas said as he waved at Gabe. “See you later, Gabriel.” He said as he walked into his bedroom.

Registering Sam had been a breeze. As soon as the school saw his transcripts they wanted him, bad. Cas took care of setting up the payments as Dean filled out all the paperwork. 

From there they went past the bank, where Cas got a card for Dean to use when he needed to purchase anything for the house. He also set Dean up with an account that his pay would be directly deposited into. Dean argued that Cas didn’t need to put that six thousand into the account, but Cas insisted since they had spent the entire night together and he was a man of his word.

Cas surprised the brothers even further by setting up an account for Sam and putting some money into it. He told them it’s for emergencies and school events, but said that if Sam helps Dean around the house then he’ll also get paid. 

From there they went grocery and clothes shopping. Dean insisted they didn’t  need more clothes, but Cas waved him off. By the time they headed home there was barely room in the back for Sam, not that there was much room to begin with. 

All in all, Cas thought his first day with the brothers was a success


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds out what Cas does for a living.

A little over a week passed and Dean can’t help but notice that Cas hardly left the house and it dawned on him that he didn’t even know what Cas did for a living. Dean walked into the living room where Cas was messing with his laptop.

“Heya, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

“Whatcha working on?” Dean asked as he sat on the opposite side of the couch.

“I’m doing some editing.”

“Oh.” There was a pause in conversation before Dean broke it. “So what do you do? For a living, you know.”

Cas looked up at Dean with a shocked look when he realized that’d never come up. “I’m an artist.”

“Really? Me, too. What kinda art do you do to be able to afford all this?”

Cas sat so he was facing Dean. “Mainly photography, but my painting and sculpting is pretty well known as well.”

“Cool. Have I seen any of your work?”

Cas laughed. “Have you read a magazine?”

“Uh. Yeah.”

Cas picked up a magazine that was laying on the coffee table, he flipped through it then handed it to Dean. 

“Wow.”

Cas looked Dean over. “Have you ever thought about modeling?”

“Me? Nah. I don’t have the body for that.”

Cas laughed deeply. “You’re kidding, right? The first time I saw you I wanted to get you in my studio.”

Dean blushed and messed with a button on his flannel.

“Will you let me shoot you?”

Dean chewed on his lip. “Just for fun, right?”

“Of course. It’ll be a private session.”

“Ok. When?”

“Now’s good.” Cas said as he got up.

Dean swallowed hard then got up. “Want me to change?”

Cas shook his head as he headed down a hall. “No. What you’ve got on is fine, for now.”

Dean took a deep breath and followed Cas back to his in home studio. He looked around the room as Cas set things up.

“Go sit on that chair.”

Dean walked over to the chair, straddling it. “This ok?”

Cas glanced over at Dean with a small smile. “That’s fine. Just get comfortable. I’m just going to snap some shots without posing you so you’re comfortable in front of the camera.”

Cas snapped away as they chatted. A few times he’d ask Dean to not move or to shift slightly, nothing too invasive. At one point Dean closed his eyes for a moment and Cas stepped in, getting tight shots of his lashes against his freckled cheeks. When Dean opened his eyes he was surprised to see the camera only a few inches from his face. Cas instructed him not to move as he got close ups of his eyes and the way his lips were parted when he’d inhaled. 

Cas glanced through the last few photos. “Think we can lose the shirts?”

Dean pulled off his flannel and his old Zeppelin shirt then looked at Castiel. This time around Cas did more posing, but still let some natural photos flow.

“How can you do all this when you have touch aversion?”

Cas continued to snap photos. “What do you mean?”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, hearing the shutter he glanced at Cas and stood still while he snapped away. “You’ve been touching me a lot.”

“Yes, but I’m comfortable with you.”

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and paused when once again Cas was snapping like crazy. “But what about other models?”

“You’re not other models. With other models I can give direction and they know what I’m asking them to do. You don’t have that training.”

Dean chuckled softly as he shoved his hands in his pockets, it seemed like every motion was being documented. “So you’re saying I suck as a model?”

Cas dropped his camera to his side, seeing the insecurity in Dean’s eyes. He brought it back up again, preparing for the emotion he’d see. “Far from it. You’re the perfect model for me.”

Dean’s head whipped up with a shocked look on his face, and Cas caught it. 

“Are you tired yet?”

Dean shook his head. “No. I’m good.”

“Get rid of the boots. I want to get a few with you in jeans on the bed.”

Dean kicked off his boots and moved over to the bed, letting Cas pose him and take photos. Somehow just being on the bed made things feel more intimate. After Cas got the shots he needed he cleared his throat.

“How do you feel about some nudes?”

Dean blushed to the tips of his ears. “I, uh, I guess I’d be good with it.”

“Only if you’re comfortable. If not it’ll show in the pictures.”

Dean nodded then pulled off his jeans and boxers. Cas posed him taking photos with sheets draped over him and some without. He wanted a good one of Dean blushing and he knew exactly what to say. He’d been biting his tongue since Dean had removed the last of his clothes.

“Looks like I was right about you.”

Dean glanced at Cas. “What do you mean?”

Cas continued to take photos. “It was obvious some of the dancers were stuffing. I was pretty sure you weren’t.”

Dean blushed beautifully and Cas captured the blush on his chest and face, laughing when Dean turned away, covering his face. “Not cool, dude.”

Cas hummed. “Perhaps not, but I got the desired result.” Cas looked back through the last few photos. “I’ve probably embarrassed you enough for one day.” He picked up Dean’s boxers and jeans, putting them on the bed beside him. “You really are the perfect model. I have a few jobs lined up that I think you’d be perfect for, if you’re interested.”

Dean pulled on his clothes then looked at Cas. “I dunno. I mean this was fun, but doing this knowing it’d be published? I don’t think I could do that.”

Cas sighed sadly. “I understand. I’m sure I’ll find someone.” He sighed as he looked at the display on his camera and shook his head.

“Can I see?”

Cas glanced over at Dean. “You can see all of them if you’d like, but on the computer.”

Dean nodded as he tied his boots then followed Cas back into the living room. Cas glanced at the time, thankful they still had time before Sam would be home. He put the card in the computer.

“I took a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever taken so many pictures in a session before.”

Dean sat beside Cas. “Probably had to since I’m not a pro.”

Cas rolled his eyes. He pulled up the first photo and started scrolling through them. Most of the beginning photos weren’t all that impressive, but they were still beautiful. “I really like this one.”

Dean looked at it. “It’s not magazine worthy is it?”

Cas held up one finger then started making edits to the lighting and cleaning up things here and there then filtered the photo to black and white and changed the contrast. He glanced at Dean once he was done.

“Holy shit.”

“It’s still not “magazine worthy” per say. I mean it couldn’t be used for advertising, but if you were a celebrity and a magazine was doing a piece on you and wanted some more candid shots this would be one I’d submit.” Cas skipped ahead to a picture he wanted to view.

“Thought you said I could look at all of them.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “You can. We just don’t have time right now. There’s a few I really want to see before Sam gets home.”

“So tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Cas tweaked the photo. “I love how the light plays on your muscles.”

Dean looked at the photo and then at Cas, watching his expressions as he viewed the photos he seemed excited to look at. On one particular nude where Dean was on his knees with his arms twisted above his head Cas’ expression lit up then fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Cas glanced at Dean then back at the photo. “Oh. Uh. Nothing.”

“What’s the job?”

Cas worked on tweaking the photo, making Dean’s muscles pop. “Nothing you’d be interested in.”

“But I’d be perfect for?”

Cas’ hand stilled and he closed his eyes. “After today I’m going to have to turn it down. I’m not going to be able to find someone I’ll be happy working with. I’ll be unhappy with anything I shoot.”

“What’s the job?”

“It’s a piece on shibari.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Bondage?”

Cas ran his hand over his face. “Yeah. But it’s more about the art form. It’s about how shibari is beautiful.”

Dean looked at the photo on the computer and tried to visualize ropes on his body. “Is that why you did poses like that one? So you could see if I’d be a good model for it?”

Cas sighed as he closed the computer. “I’m sorry, Dean. I violated your trust.”

Dean gently placed his hand on Cas’ forearm. “Is that why you did those poses?”

“Yeah.”

“And I’m the only one you want to work with?”

Cas sighed and looked at Dean. “You’re the only one I can work with just one on one. If I found someone else I’d have to have an assistant that is well versed in shibari so I wouldn’t have to touch the model. But then it wouldn’t be my work. It’d only be my photos.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up to his forehead. “Wait.  _ You’d _ be tying me up?”

Cas laughed a little. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little. Will it pay well?”

“It’ll pay very well, especially after they see the pictures.”

“How soon does it have to be done?”

“We have plenty of time. We’ll need it. I wouldn’t keep you bound for too long each day. Plus I’d want a smooth canvas so we’d have to let the rope marks fade between sessions.”

Dean considered everything he’d just learned.

“Have you ever been bound?”

“No.”

“If your considering taking the job, I’d like to do something simple tomorrow so you can get a feel for it and see if it’s even something you can handle.”

“Yeah. Ok. I can do that.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s first shibari session bring him and Cas a lot closer.

Dean and Cas sat silently at the island eating their breakfast after Sam had left for school. Both of them fidgeted in anticipation of what they’d be doing today.

“You haven’t changed your mind have you?”

Dean glanced up at Cas. “No.”

“Nervous?”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Hell yeah.”

Cas took a sip of his coffee. “Do you want to talk about it before we go in there?”

Dean sat back a little. “Will everything be on display? Like, are we basically shooting porn?”

Cas smiled softly. “This isn’t about sex. It’s about the art form, but I will want a certain sexual charge in the images. As far as everything being on display? It doesn’t have to be. I’d like to do nudes, but that doesn’t mean I’ll publish anything that has your dick on display unless you agree to it. For any that I want full frontals on we can use a g-string so you’re covered.”

Dean took a deep breath. “Ok.”

“Will you be ok with intimate touches?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Will you?”

Cas laughed. “I’m not sure, but I’m not the one being photographed. If I’m slightly uncomfortable it’s not going to show on film.”

Cas got up and moved to stand behind Dean with his chest pressed to the other man’s back. He placed his hands on Dean’s shoulders then let them slowly glide down his chest to his stomach then let one hand rest on top of the bulge in his pajama pants. Dean’s breath hitched as Cas’ lips touched the shell of his ear. “Is this ok?”

Dean swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

Cas palmed Dean’s cock as he brought his other hand up to cup his cheek, his thumb running over Dean’s full lower lip. “Mmmmm. I think we’ll be ok with the intimate touches. Do you always start to fall apart this easy?”

Dean’s eyes slipped shut as he shook his head slightly. “No.”

Cas could feel Dean hardening under his hand. He nipped lightly at his pulse point. “Are you ready to get started?”

Dean gasped and brought his hand to Cas’ hair. “I thought we already were.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder then pulled away. He took Dean’s hand in his own and lead him back to the studio. “You may want to use the bathroom before we get started.” He said as he pointed to where the bathroom is.

As Dean used the bathroom, Cas pulled out the supplies he’d need for this shoot. He ran his fingers over the different ropes he had. He looked up when Dean came back and stood next to him. “Go ahead and remove your clothes and kneel on the bed.”

Dean glanced at the ropes then did as he was told. Cas picked up some rope and walked over to the bed. “Arms behind your back.” Dean moved his arms and Cas got to work on creating a beautiful web, while pulling Dean’s arms closer together.

“How long does it normally take to do the stuff you want to do?”

Cas hummed as he worked. “It depends on what I’m wanting to achieve. Some days most of our time will be spent on just the rope work. I don’t want to keep you tied longer than I have to.”

Dean nodded and glanced over his shoulder at Cas. “Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Do you like me?”

Cas’ hands stilled as he glanced up to meet Dean’s eyes. “Of course I like you.”

Dean squirmed a little. “I mean...not as just a friend or employee or whatever.”

Cas’ eyes searched Dean’s face for a moment before he got back to what he’d been doing. “You’re asking if I’m interested in having sex with you.”

Dean swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

Cas smirked slightly. “Is being bound that arousing to you, Dean?”

Dean’s eyes slipped shut as he wet his lips. “Yeah.”

Cas finished binding Dean, gently tugging on the ropes. He brought his lips to Dean’s ear. “I told you that you were perfect. I didn’t just mean for this.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open. “So you are interested in me.”

“Very much so.” Cas said as he gently pushed Dean forward. “Bend.”

Dean bent forward on his knees with Cas’ help. He jumped when he felt a plug being inserted into him. “I t-thought you said this wasn’t supposed to be sexual.”

“It’s not. The camera isn’t going to see that. I told you we’d need a certain sexual charge though. That’ll help.” Cas helped Dean sit back up. “So will this.” Cas said as he slipped a cock ring on him.

Dean groaned as he tried to shift in the ropes.

“Beautiful.” Cas said as he pushed buttons on two remotes, making the plug and ring vibrate.

“Fuck!” Dean exclaimed as his muscles flexed.

Cas picked up the camera and started snapping photos. He mainly focused on Dean’s arms, but occasionally snapped some from the side or front, mainly for himself. He ran his finger over the remotes and kicked them both up a notch.

Dean cried out. His body bowed with his head thrown back and Cas caught it all on film. Dean’s arms fought their restraints, the muscles bulging beautifully. Cas set the camera aside. He grabbed Dean’s hair roughly, turning his face toward him and devoured his lips. He licked into Dean’s mouth, stealing his breath before pulling away, tugging roughly at his lower lip.

Dean’s lips were swollen, his eyes hooded, his muscles straining and Cas’ camera captured it all. Cas turned up the vibrators again and Dean fell forward onto his chest with his ass in the air. “Cas...please…”

Dean’s voice was wrecked and it went straight to Cas’ cock. “Please what?”

Dean’s eyes struggled to open and focus on Cas. “Fuck me.  _ Please _ .”

Cas hadn’t planned on the session getting this intense, but fuck Dean was so beautiful and having him bound just made something snap inside of Cas. “While you’re bound?”

“Yes.” Dean whined.

Cas sat his camera down and began removing his clothes. He got on the bed behind Dean and slowly pulled the plug out of him. He leaned down, running his tongue over Dean’s hole, making the other man jump and pull at the ropes.

Cas shifted, bringing his hips to Dean’s ass. He rubbed the head of his cock over Dean’s hole then slowly sunk into him. Dean groaned and tried to push back, but Cas held him in place as he slowly buried himself completely.

“Fuck, Cas…”

Cas used the rope as a handle, lifting Dean’s chest from the bed then started plowing into him. Dean cried out and met Cas’ thrusts the best he could. Cas could feel they were both close and honestly he wasn’t surprised. He was more surprised that he hadn’t shot his load in his pants. 

“Cas! Please!” Dean all but sobbed as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Cas kept up his rhythm as he wrapped one arm around Dean and pulled the cock ring off of him. Dean cried out as his orgasm tore through him, his body tensing then going limp in his restraints. Cas’ hips stuttered then he groaned as he filled Dean. 

Cas gently lowered Dean back to the bed and quickly moved, turning Dean’s face toward him. “Dean? Are you ok?”

Dean smiled lazily as he blinked his eyes open. “Awesome.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean softly then started untying Dean’s arms as quickly as he could. He kissed marks that the rope left as he went. Once he’d gotten Dean loose he tossed the rope aside and laid beside Dean, pulling the other man to him playing with his hair as Dean recovered.

“I didn’t plan that.”

Dean turned his head, kissing Cas’ chest. “I’m glad you did it.”

Cas’ fingers carded through Dean’s hair. “Me too, but I planned on this being a easy session...just something to introduce you to the ropes. I, uh, hoped we’d end up having sex during a session. I just didn’t think it’d be this soon.” Cas said as he kissed the top of Dean’s head.

Cas carefully slipped out from under Dean, making the other man whine. He kissed his temple as he got up. “Don’t move. I’m not going anywhere.” Cas walked over to his camera, picking it and a bottle of water up. He walked back to the bed, shooting a few more pictures then set his camera down. He gently helped Dean to sit up and helped him drink some water.

“Have you ever done anything that intense?”

Dean shook his head. “No. What I thought was intense was vanilla compared to what we just did.”

Cas blushed and kissed Dean softly. “Couldn’t have been that intense. You didn’t pass out.”

“What?”

Cas laid them back on the bed, running his fingers over the marks on Dean’s arms. “I’m glad you didn’t. I wasn’t prepared for that, but the way you went limp I thought you might have.” Cas tilted Dean’s head to look into his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel amazing.”

“Do you think you could make it to the kitchen?”

Dean laughed. “Dude. I’m fucking jello.”

Cas kissed Dean’s forehead. “I’m going to go grab something from the kitchen and I’ll be right back.” Cas got up and hurried into the kitchen. He grabbed a thing of orange juice and some chocolate then went back into the studio. He broke off a piece of the chocolate and held it to Dean’s lips. “Open.”

Dean opened his mouth. “Mmmmm.”

Cas laughed. “We have to get your sugars back up. I don’t need you crashing on me.” Cas broke off another piece, feeding it to Dean.

Dean slowly sat up with Cas’ help. Cas handed him the orange juice and Dean drank it down then looked at his arms as he rotated them. “So what just happened here?”

“What do you mean?”

Dean ran his fingers over rope marks. “I mean between us. Was that just something that happened because of the shoot or…”

“Or are we together?”

Dean glanced up at Cas. “Yeah.”

Cas sat down beside Dean as he lifted his arm and gently scraped his nails over the marks. “I’d like for us to be together.” Dean smiled softly. “How do your arms feel? Any pain or stiffness?”

“A little.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder then got up going into the bathroom. He ran hot water in the garden tub, adding some Epsom salts. He went back to Dean and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the bath. “Get in.” Cas watched Dean climb in then got in behind him. He kissed Dean’s shoulders and spine as the tub filled then shut the water off. He let the hot water relax Dean’s muscles then used his hands to work out any knots he found. “I’m assuming you’re up to taking this job?”

Dean moaned as Cas worked out a tough knot. “Not gonna let you do this one with anyone else.”

Cas smirked. “You’re going to need a manager. I’d like you to work exclusively with me, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to do that. It’s a lot to ask.”

“I’m not interested in working with anyone else.” Dean glanced over his shoulder. “Can you help me find a good manager?”

“I know one, but you’re not going to like him. In fact, you already don’t.”

“Your cousin?”

“Yeah. He’s one of the best. He’s also my manager.”

Dean leaned back against Cas. “Then I guess I’ll hire the little asshole.”

Cas chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Dean.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean drops while Cas isn’t home. They talk a little about Dean’s past.

Cas walked into the house. He looked around. “Dean?” The house was too quiet. He checked the downstairs and the backyard. “Dean?” Cas hurried up the stairs checking all the bedrooms. “Dean?!”

Cas listened to the silence then he heard the smallest sob. His head whipped toward his bedroom and he ran to it. “Dean?” His eyes looked around frantically until they fell on Dean curled up in the corner crying and trembling. Cas ran over to him, falling onto his knees and pulled Dean close. “Hey. I’m here. It’s ok.”

Dean leaned into Cas, gripping him tightly as he cried. Cas held him even closer. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Dean took a few shaky breaths. “I dunno. You left and I started feeling off. I...I got in my head...thought things I haven’t thought in years.”

“Fuck.” Cas held Dean close, kissing the top of his head. “What kind of things?”

Dean pulled back slightly and held a wrist up for Cas to see. Cas took his arm into his hands and inspected the skin. There were a few slashes going across his wrist, but what scared Cas the most was the one going up his arm. How could he have missed these when he tied him up? Cas kissed the scars as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have left you alone today.”

Dean wiped his eyes. “Not your fault I’m fucked up.”

Cas lifted Dean’s chin. “Dean, what you experienced is called subdrop. Our shibari session gave you a high and while I was gone you crashed.” Cas kissed Dean softly. “I know better than that.”

Dean looked at Cas. “Subdrop? Like BDSM?”

Cas gently ran his fingers over the inside of Dean’s arm. “Yeah. Yesterday you told me you’d never done something that intense. I should have known you’d drop. I should have talked to you about subspace and subdrop before we ever started the session. I didn’t plan on it being that intense or turning into sex. I only planned on stimulating you so you’d flex and bring the photos alive.” Cas sighed and rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder. “And I didn’t talk to you about any of it. I was just so excited that you’d agreed to try it. I didn’t talk to you about safewords or traffic lights or anything.”

Dean looked at where Cas’ fingers rested on top of the scars on his arm. “So does that mean we’re in some BDSM relationship?”

“No. It’s just safety measures for the photography and if we bring shibari into the bedroom. If we do, then yes, we’d fall into that category, but I’m not interested in anything else that does. I’m open to trying some things. I have no problem taking control or giving it up, but I’m not really into giving or receiving pain.”

“Ok.”

Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean. “Ok?”

“Yeah. I’m not against us doing that stuff as long as we keep it to the bedroom or studio. I don’t want to be submissive and shit in front of Sammy.”

Cas laughed softly and kissed Dean. “Scenes are separate from everyday life. We’d only scene when we both agree on it and never in front of your brother.”

Dean smiled a little. “Good.”

“So do you want to talk about it?”

Dean glanced down at his arms and shrugged. “Our dad was an abusive asshole. He was always drunk and looking for a fight. I always made sure he swung at me so Sammy wouldn’t get hurt.”

“But what made you cut?”

Dean ran his fingers over the cut that ran the length of his arm as he stayed silent. “One of his buddies used me.” He said softly. “Dad owed him money and he decided I could pay his debt.”

“Your father allowed that to happen?”

Dean shook his head. “Dude came looking for him and he wasn’t home. I thank god every day Sammy wasn’t home yet.”

“Did something from yesterday trigger the memories?”

Dean furrowed his brow as he thought about it. “Not while we were doing it. I mean that was awesome. But, uh, he pinned me down and held my arms behind my back, so I dunno.” Dean glanced up at Cas. “Does that mean anytime we do something like that I’ll have flashbacks?”

“Not necessarily, but now that I know to keep a closer eye on you I will.” Dean nodded then leaned into Cas’ touch when he carded his fingers through his hair. “How long has it been since you were with someone?”

“Um, I was 16 when that happened so...4 years.”

Cas sighed. “Shit. If I’d known that… I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t be. I enjoyed what we did yesterday. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Today kinda sucked though.”

“How are you feeling now?”

“Better. It’s not fun talking about this shit, but having you here makes it better.”

Cas played with Dean’s hair. “Glad I’m helping. So where’s your dad now?”

Dean shrugged. “Lawrence? Maybe in a bar? I dunno. When I was 17 he hit Sammy. I packed us up in Baby and left home. Haven’t been back since. I don’t talk to anyone that’d give me updates.”

“No family?”

“Just Uncle Bobby, but we haven’t talked in a year.”

Cas nodded as he started to get up. “Come on, let’s move this to the bed. My old knees can’t handle the floor too long.”

Dean got up rolling his eyes. “You’re not that old. What, like 25, 26?”

“26” Cas said as he kicked off his shoes, stripped to his boxers and laid on the bed. Dean did the same, snuggling against Cas.

“That’s not that old.”

“Maybe not, but isn’t this better than the floor?” Dean nodded against Cas’ chest. “You always have to be so strong all the time don’t you? You have to be strong for Sam and yourself. You never allow yourself a moment of weakness. You’ve never allowed someone to be strong for you.” Cas gently stroked Dean’s face. “You’re allowed that with me. Anytime you need to let things go… Anytime you need to feel safe to fall apart… I’m right here, Dean.” Cas gently grabbed Dean’s wrist with his free hand and rubbed his thumb over the cuts. “I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have another option. If things get too hard for you, let me carry the load. I don’t care if you need me to bind you to make you feel safe or if you need me to inflict pain in a safe way. I’ll do it for you.”

Dean sniffled and wiped his eyes. He shifted so his face was buried in Cas’ neck and allowed everything he’d been holding in to finally surface. Cas held him through it all offering kind words and gentle kisses the entire time. 

Dean wasn’t sure how long it took to finally calm down, but by the time he had Cas’ shoulder and pillow were soaked and Dean was exhausted, but he felt lighter than he had in ages. Cas grabbed some Kleenex from the side table and handed them to Dean, who wiped his eyes and Cas’ shoulder with an embarrassed chuckle.

“Sorry about that.”

Cas grabbed a Kleenex and gently wiped at Dean’s face. “Don’t be. You clearly needed that. Do you feel better?”

“I do. Nobody’s done that for me since my mom.”

Cas ran his fingers from Dean’s temple to his chin. “You have me now.”

Dean smiled then snuggled back against Cas with his head under his chin. “Thanks for rescuing us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got 12 chapters written so far and a new story started. I’d really like these guys to focus on unfinished stories before starting new ones.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a surprise for Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you charmin365 for looking things over and helping me fix my mistakes 💕

Cas sat in the living room editing pictures while Sam sat in the kitchen doing homework. Dean was outside enjoying the pool. Cas glanced over at Sam. “Who’s Baby?”

“Huh?”

“Dean said something about “Baby” to me.”

Sam turned in his chair to look at Cas. “Oh. Baby’s his car.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Dean doesn’t have a car.”

“She’s at Bobby’s. She broke down and Dean didn’t have the money to fix her so Bobby took her back to his place so she’d be safe. Dean thought he’d get her back pretty quick, but Bobby said she needs a ton of work. Maybe he can get her back now that he’s got a good job with you.”

“Do you happen to have Bobby’s number?” Cas asked as he pulled out the phone. He added him as a contact then looked at Sam. “Not a word to Dean about this, ok.”

Sam grinned. “Ok.”

Cas closed his computer and glanced out the large windows at the beautiful man floating in the pool with shades on. It was already obvious he’d do anything for him. He glanced back at Sam. “Guess the Charger will get a new driver soon.”

Sam fist pumped then turned back to his homework. 

Cas laughed and went into the studio, calling Bobby.

“What do you want?” Came a gruff voice.

“Is this Bobby?”

“That depends who’s asking.”

“My name is Castiel Novak. I’m friends with Sam and Dean Winchester.”

The gruffness of the other man’s voice was gone in an instant. “Are they ok? Where are they?”

“They are both doing well and living with me in Kansas City. Dean maintains my home for me and Sam in enrolled in the local college prep school.”

“Damn kid’s a genius.”

Cas laughed softly. “He really is.”

“They know you called me?”

Cas sat on the bed. “Sam does. I told him not to tell Dean...mainly because I have a favor to ask and I want it to be a surprise. I was recently made aware that Dean has a car at your house that needs work. I’d like you to bring it here so it can be fixed.”

“Boy’s not gonna want it fixed. He’s gonna want to do it all himself.”

“That’s fine. We can put her in my garage and I’ll get whatever parts she needs. Sam said you know what’s wrong with her so maybe you can help me with that? I’ll reimburse you for the parts and the trip.” 

“Yeah. Ok. How’s next week sound?”

“Sounds perfect. Let me know when you’re in town so I can get him out of the house.”

“Will do.”

————

A week passed without Dean having any suspicions. Cas kept in contact with Bobby, transferring money as he needed it. Bobby told him he’d be leaving this morning and was expected to arrive around 1. He’d just received a text that Bobby was about 15 minutes away.

“Dean? Think you could run to the grocery store? I’d go, but it’s going to take me forever to go through all these photos.”

Dean grinned. “Because I’m too gorgeous for you to decide which ones to use?”

“Yes. I’ve never had this problem before. I normally take just what I need. With you...I just can’t stop.”

Dean grabbed the list off the counter and walked over to Cas, kissing his temple. “I don’t want you to ever stop.”

Cas blushed slightly and waved Dean off. “Thank you.”

Dean looked over the list. “We making my burgers tonight? Hell yeah.” He said as we went out to the garage, getting into the Charger and heading for the store.

“ _ He’s gone. _ ” Cas texted to Bobby. 

Cas waited nervously. Not only was he surprising Dean with Baby, he was also meeting someone Dean considered family. The sound of a tow truck backing into his driveway caught his attention and he hurried outside. He wasn’t sure what to expect when Dean’s car arrived, but he definitely wasn’t expecting  _ this _ . Baby was the definition of sex on wheels. She was a sleek, black ‘67 Impala. Looking at her you’d think she’d just rolled off the showroom floor. Cas’ mind raced with ideas for photo shoots with Dean including her. He was so mesmerized by her beauty that he didn’t even hear the close of the truck door or  Bobby walk over to him.

“She’s something else, huh.”

Cas looked over at the older man. “She really is. I just knew Baby was a car. I wasn’t expecting this.” 

Cas helped Bobby get the car off the back of the truck and into the garage. When they were done Bobby gave his Trans Am an appreciative look.

“76?”

“Yes, sir.”

Bobby cut his eyes at Cas. “Don’t “sir” me, boy. What do you want me to do with the truck?”

Cas had Bobby park the truck around the corner then showed him to the room he’d be using. They talked while they waited for Dean to get home. It wasn’t long until they heard the rumble of the garage door opening. Cas set his drink down just to be safe. 

Dean rushed into the house, pinning Cas up against the wall as he shoved his tongue down his throat. He brought a hand to Cas’ ass, pulling their hips together and making Cas moan.

Bobby cleared his throat from where he was sitting. “Just friends, huh?”

Dean pulled away, breathless. “Hey, Bobby.”

Cas blushed as he tried to get control of himself. He’d expected a reaction, but he hadn’t expected Dean to maul him. “I wasn’t going to out Dean if you didn’t know yet.”

“Fair enough. Not gonna thank me for driving that hunk of junk all the way here for you?”

Dean rushed over to Bobby, hugging him tightly. “Call my Baby that again and I’ll kick your ass, old man.”

“Good to see you too, ya idjit .”

Cas smiled at their exchange. “I’ll let you two catch up. I’ll go get the groceries.” He said as he went outside. The Charger was still running and it’s door was wide open. He shook his head as he moved it into the garage and started unloading it. When he went back inside his heart burst at the joy he could read on Dean’s face. 

“Dean?”

“Hmmm?”

“I was thinking. We could probably do some sessions with Baby.” Cas said as he unpacked the bags.

Dean’s face lit up. “Yeah?”

“Sessions?” Dean’s eyes widened as he glanced from Bobby to Cas.

“Mmhmm. I’m a photographer. I’ve been working on getting Dean to model. I don’t know of any jobs looking for photos of mechanics, but I’m willing to bet someone would be interested in photos of him fixing Baby.” Cas’ eyes caught Dean’s, the desire in them making Dean swallow hard. 

“Could probably put them out to some of those car magazines. That classic would be better than the crap they normally publish.”

Cas hummed. “I’ll have Gabriel make some calls.” He said as he walked past Dean, patting his ass. “Should start on the burgers before your brother gets home.”

The three of them visited while Dean worked on his famous burgers. Cas would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about having Bobby visit after Dean said they hadn’t spoken in a year. He’d worried that they’d had a falling out and that Bobby being there might be tense, but it was clear that wasn’t the case. The two acted like a year had never passed so Cas wasn’t sure what had happened, but he was glad he’d been able to bring the men back together. 

“Bobby?” Came Sam’s voice before he’d even entered the room. “Bobby!” Sam yelled as he ran to the man and hugged him tight.

“Hey, kid. Heard you got into some fancy school.”

Sam spoke animatedly about school and friends and things he’d learned over the past year. Cas glanced at Dean and caught him looking at him with a fond look. Cas couldn’t help smiling back. In this moment it didn’t feel like Cas was intruding on Dean and his family. No. It felt like he was a part of that family and it felt really good.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas brings in another model for the job. Cas and Dean’s session gets a little heated 😉

Unfortunately Bobby wasn’t able to visit for too long, but since it was only a five hour drive they’d promised to visit from time to time. The house seemed quieter than normal since it was so full of life the whole weekend and Sam being back at school added to the silence, not that he was that loud when he was home. 

Cas sat on the couch editing photos as Dean laid across the couch with his head in his lap watching. Every once in a while Cas would run the fingers of his free hand through Dean’s hair as he worked, making the other man sigh.

“Dean?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m thinking about asking a friend of mine to also model for this piece.”

Dean’s head turned so he could look up at Cas’ face. “Why?”

Cas looked down at Dean as he brushed his fingers over his lips. “I think Charlie would be a good addition.”

“Charlie?” Dean asked with jealousy in his voice.

Cas smiled softly. “Yes. This is a publication for both genders and I think some readers would appreciate if I included photos of a female in it.”

“Charlie’s a girl?”

“Yes, Dean. Charlie is female and she’s a lesbian.”

“Oh.” 

“Already that possessive of me?” Cas asked with a smirk.

Dean scoffed. “No. Of course not.”

“You just don’t like to share?”

“Damn right I don’t.” Dean said before realizing Cas had cornered him into that. He blushed and glared at the other man. “Asshole.”

Cas threw back his head as he laughed. “So are you ok with me working with Charlie? I might want some sessions with both of you.”

“Yeah.”

Cas smiled as he ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “I was thinking she and her girlfriend could come over today and I could get a session in with her and maybe one with you. If you’re ok with that.”

“Cas, I’m fine with you working with her.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said as he picked up his phone and texted Charlie. “She should be here soon.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “So she knew about this?”

“Yes. I was telling her about our sessions and she asked about my female model and lectured me about how even if you’re as hot as I say you are, photos of you bound just aren’t going to speak to lesbians or straight males. Then she said she volunteers as tribute.”

Dean bust out laughing. “Dude. What? That’s funny.”

“What’s funny about it?”

“A. You said you thought this was a good idea when clearly she schooled you, and 2. She volunteered as tribute.”

“I don’t get that reference.”

Dean gave Cas a look. “Hunger Games?”

Cas looked lost and gave a shrug.

“Seriously, Dude? What other movies have you missed?”

Before Cas could answer, Dean was looking up at a red head over Cas’ shoulder. “Uh… Hi?”

Cas turned and looked at Charlie. “I’m sorry, do you live here?”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Like either of you were going to get up and answer when I knocked.”

“Perhaps not, but please keep in mind that I do have a boyfriend now and you could walk in on us in compromising positions.” Cas said as Dean blushed. 

Charlie waved him off with an eye roll. “It’s not like you haven’t walked in on me.”

Cas gave her an unimpressed look. “Yes, because you’d used my key so you could use the pool and didn’t tell me I should expect company when I got home.”

Charlie shrugged. “Minor details.” She said as she looked at the computer screen. “Ok. I take back what I said about only having a male model. He’s hot. I think he could turn straight men and lesbians. Where’d you find him?”

“ _ He’s _ right here, thank you very much.” 

Charlie looked down at Dean, who hadn’t gotten up from laying on the couch. “Oh.  _ Oh _ .” She said as she smacked Castiel’s shoulder. “You didn’t tell me  _ he _ was your boyfriend!”

“I didn’t?”

“No! You told me you had a boyfriend and you had a male model for the shibari piece but not that they were the same person!”

“Oh. Well, Charlie, meet Dean, my boyfriend and model. Dean, this is Charlie.” Cas said as he looked around. “Where’s Gilda?”

“Finishing a phone call.”

Cas nodded and he patted Dean’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go to the studio.”

Dean looked at them as he sat up. “You want me in there?”

“Of course, Dean.” Cas said as he lead them back to the studio. Dean was surprised when Charlie began stripping as soon as they entered the room.

“So where do you want me and what’s your vision?”

“Bed. Thinking a mermaid tail with a harness. Arms behind your head.”

“Suspended?”

Cas looked at the bed with a head tilt. “Not today, but...maybe.”

“Ok. Cool.” Charlie smiled when another woman came into the room. They made their way over to the bed, speaking softly.

Dean honestly felt like he didn’t belong there. He hadn’t understood a damn thing Cas had said he was going to do. He quietly sat on a chair in the room just observing as Cas chose the ropes he wanted to use and Charlie got into position. He watched as Cas skillfully wrapped and knotted the ropes while Charlie and Gilda talked as if this was just a normal day for them. Maybe it was.

After Cas was done, Dean got to see why having Gilda there was important. She set to work on Charlie’s nipples making them nice and hard as Cas shot pictures. “That’s good. Thank you.” He said and Gilda pulled away and walked over to where Dean was sitting and sat beside him.

“So I’m assuming you’re the amazing model Castiel found.”

“That and his boyfriend. Dean.” Dean said as he held his hand out shaking Gilda’s hand.

“Gilda. How long have you been in the business?”

“Uh. Like a week?” Gilda’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“I’ve never known Castiel to work with someone that wasn’t experienced. He doesn’t exactly like to touch his models.”

“Yeah. Touch aversion. Kinda can’t have that issue when he’s sleeping with me.”

Gilda laughed softly. “No, I guess not.”

“I see how it’s different with her though. I mean she walked in and he didn’t even have to tell her what to do. When it’s me he’s constantly touching me to move me how he wants me.”

“Or he’s just touching you because he can’t keep his hands off you.”

Dean chuckled. “That, too. She mentioned something about being suspended?”

“I’m guessing he hasn’t worked you up to that.” Dean shook his head. “Charlie loves it and Castiel is very good at it.” She said as she pulled out her phone and showed him a picture of Charlie suspended in a complicated knot of rope, not that even the simplest things didn’t look complicated to Dean.

“One of Cas’?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you do any of this shibari stuff?”

Gilda nodded. “Charlie’s my Dom so we use it frequently. She learned from Castiel and is still learning from him.”

“He teaches it?”

Gilda gave Dean a funny look. “...Yeah. He must not have told you much about this job. It’s for a piece about him as a photographer and instructor.”

Dean looked over at Cas. “He didn’t.” He watched as Cas stepped back and seemed to consider something. He then walked to where he kept his ropes and pulled more out. He went over to a wall and hit a button, lowering some rings from the ceiling. He spoke to Charlie, who seemed very excited about this.

“I’d better go help.” Gilda said before going over and helping Charlie onto her stomach then onto her knees. Dean watched as Cas tied ropes to the rings then attached them to Charlie’s harness and the rope on her legs. Cas tested the knots then went to wall, lifting her as Gilda helped guide her up. She then returned to her seat as Cas started snapping away. “Doesn’t she look so calm?”

“Yeah. I don’t get it. That’s got to be uncomfortable.”

Gilda shrugged. “A little, but you get used to it and it’s like a tight hug. Charlie’s fallen asleep while suspended.”

Dean shook his head. “I’d be too worried about a knot coming undone and me falling to fall asleep.”

“Castiel’s knot work has never failed. Don’t let that fear stop you from the free feeling being suspended gives you. He won’t let anything happen to anyone he works with, but he definitely won’t let anything happen to you.”

Dean nodded then chewed on his lip. “What’s it like being a sub?”

Gilda looked over at Dean reading his face. “You’ve talked about having that kind of relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“May I ask why? We’ve known Castiel for a while and he’s always said he had no desire to be a Dom. Charlie and I both think he’d make an excellent one, though.”

Dean chewed on his lip as he ran his fingers over his scars. “I had something happen and I, uh, turned to self harm. Cas said I dropped after our first session cause I freaked out the next day and thought about doing something like that again.”

“So he offered to be your Dom and give you the pain you’re seeking?”

“Yeah. I guess.” Dean said with a shrug.

“Wow. You must have really scared him.”

Dean lifted his sleeve and held his wrist where Gilda could see. She gasped when she saw the scars and understood immediately why Castiel would offer to give Dean pain. She smiled softly at Dean.

“Being a sub under the right Dom is amazing. I love when Charlie and I scene. I don’t have to worry about anything. I just let her take over and make decisions for me and allow myself to just feel and enjoy being cared for.”

“But I thought Dom’s were supposed to be cruel. Aren’t they supposed to get off on hitting you and leaving you with bruises?”

Gilda gently placed her hand on Dean’s leg. “Only if you get off on being treated that way. Charlie and I scened last night. Do you see any marks on me?”

“No, but they could be covered.”

Gilda lifted her shirt to expose more skin and blushed when Dean’s eyes caught the bite mark on her breast. “I asked for that one.” She said as she put her shirt back down.

“So you can ask for stuff and she’ll do it?”

Gilda nodded. “Sometimes. Sometimes she denies my request, especially if she thinks we’d regret it later.”

Dean glanced over at Cas, who was removing the rope from Charlie’s body. “You really think he’d be able to help me?”

Gilda gently patted Dean’s cheek before getting up. “I have no doubt.” She said before going over to the bed and helping Charlie off of it and into the bathroom to soak her muscles.

Dean walked over to the bed smiling at Cas. Cas returned the smile as he coiled the ropes. “I saw you and Gilda talking over there. I’m glad the two of you get along. She’s a very sweet woman.”

“She is.”

“So after sitting in on Charlie’s session are you comfortable with me working with her?”

“Cas, man, I trust you. Even if she’d been an incredibly hot gay man I’d trust you.” Dean said with a laugh. “I’m not gonna get in the way of your job. I’m not gonna say you have to exclusively work with me. That wouldn’t be right.”

Cas smiled softly as tension escaped his shoulders. “Thank you.”

“So when do you wanna do my session?”

Cas glanced toward the bathroom. “Now unless you want to wait for the girls to leave.”

Dean shrugged as he removed his clothes. “No point waiting if you might do sessions with both of us.”

Cas looked Dean over then chose the rope he wanted to use. He walked back over to Dean, carding his fingers through the hair on the back of his head then pulled him in for a deep kiss. Cas swept his tongue over Dean’s lips then pushed it into his mouth making Dean groan.

Dean’s hands clutched Cas’ shirt tightly as his hips rolled against Cas’. Cas brought one hand down to Dean’s cock, stroking it until he was fully erect then he slipped the cock ring over him, making Dean whimper.

Charlie walked out of the bathroom with Gilda and her eyes widened. “Holy shit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cas aroused before. Have you?” Gilda shook her head.

Cas pulled back from Dean, both of them panting. “Ladies, you’re welcome to stay.” He said as he slicked up his finger and pushed it into Dean. Dean’s forehead fell to Cas’ shoulder with a moan as Cas opened him up slowly.

Charlie glanced at Gilda then moved over to where Dean and Gilda had previously been sitting. They both felt like they were intruding on a very private moment, but they were also extremely intrigued because they had never seen Cas like this with anyone.

Cas opened Dean further then pushed a large plug into him.

“Cas…” Dean whimpered.

“I know.” Cas said as he caressed Dean’s cheek. “I’m going to take care of you.” Cas made Dean hold his arms out to his sides as he created a harness around his chest, bringing the rope between his legs and pulling it so it held the plug in place. Dean groaned and squirmed a little. “Is that ok?”

Dean nodded and swallowed hard. “Yeah. I just...fuck.”

Cas laughed and kissed Dean softly. He picked up another rope and joined it to the harness then brought Dean’s arms in front of him, twisting them so they were palm out and started working on joining his arms to the harness with knots. Dean watched everything Cas did as he tried to calm down.

Once Cas was done with Dean’s arms he helped him onto the bed on his back and bent Dean’s knees so his feet were flat on the bed. He used the extra length from the harness and arms to bind Dean’s calf to his thigh on both legs. Cas smirked at Dean then bent between his legs and took him into his mouth.

Dean’s head shot back as his back arched and he struggled against the bonds. “Cas! Fuck!”

Cas bobbed his head a few times and swallowed Dean down before pulling off. He stood back admiring how Dean’s muscles quivered and sweat glisten on his flush skin. “Much better.” He picked up his camera as Charlie and Gilda watched on in disbelief.

“What’d you think of Charlie being suspended?” Cas asked as he shot picture after picture.

Dean swallowed thickly. “Was hot.”

“Would you be interested in doing that?”

“Maybe. Scared of heights.”

Cas rolled Dean onto his stomach, adjusting him when he winced then positioned his head and legs how he wanted them. “I wouldn’t take you any higher than you’re comfortable with.” Cas looked Dean over before continuing to capture him on film.

Cas noticed a strained look on Dean’s face. “Too uncomfortable?”

“Yeah.”

Cas set his camera down and adjusted Dean’s legs so they were under him, relieving some of the pressure on his arms. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Dean jumped and tensed as the plug came to life. “Fuck!” Cas smirked as he continued photographing Dean.

“Dean? May I mark you?”

“Please…” Dean whined.

Cas leaned over Dean sinking his teeth into his right butt cheek. Dean cried out as his muscles fought the ropes. Cas pulled away taking even more pictures.

Charlie leaned over to Gilda. “Is this a session or a scene?” She whispered. Gilda chuckled softly.

Dean cried out again when Cas bit his shoulder and he felt things getting fuzzy. He felt himself drifting and vaguely remembered Cas telling him what subspace was like. “Cas…” Dean barely whispered.

“Dean?” Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “Hey. Stay with me. Can you give me your color?”

“Blue. Eyes.”

Cas laughed softly and glanced at the girls who were also amused. “Yeah. My eyes are blue. I need to know what your color is Dean. Traffic light, remember?”

“Hate those things.”

Cas played with Dean’s hair. “I think we all do, but what’s your color, Dean? If you can’t give me your color then we’ll have to stop.”

Dean fought to think about what Cas was asking him. What color was he supposed to say and why was Cas talking about traffic lights? His mind started to clear some. “Green.”

“You’re sure?”

Dean slowly opened his eyes and looked into Cas’. “Yeah. I’m good. Green.”

Cas kissed the bite mark on Dean’s shoulder and he shivered. Cas got a few more pictures then helped Dean up so he was on his knees and shot even more pictures. He circled Dean then set the camera down. “Would you like to try suspension today?”

Dean looked at Cas as he thought about it. “Not too high.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “If I’m getting too high I want you to say yellow, ok?”

“Ok.”

Cas shifted Dean so he was back on his stomach with his legs not under him. Dean shifted uncomfortably again. “You won’t be like this for long.” Cas said as he attached the ropes he’d used on Charlie to the harness at the back of Dean’s shoulders and to the rope binding his legs. He flipped the switch and watched as the ropes lifted Dean forcing his back to bow.

Dean watched as the bed got further and further away and was just about to say yellow when he stopped moving. Cas ran his hand down the side of Dean’s body to his leaking cock and started stroking him. Dean groaned and let his head hang forward. He wanted to thrust into Cas’ hand but he couldn’t move his hips to make it happen. The plug kicked up a notch as the cock ring sprang to life. Dean gasped as his back arched even more and Cas caught it on film. 

Cas took photos from different angles and distances all while telling Dean how wonderful he was doing and how gorgeous he looked. Arousal coursed through Cas’ veins as tried to take more pictures, but his hands were getting shaky. He jumped when Charlie’s hand rested on his arm.

“Dude. Give me that. You’ve shot the same angle like ten times now.” She said as she pulled the camera from his hands. “Go get’em. I’ll keep snapping for you.”

Cas climbed onto the bed and used a piece of rope from the ceiling to bring Dean’s waist up so he wasn’t arched anymore. He grabbed the rope between his legs and tried to move it, but it wouldn’t give. He pulled his knife from his pocket and carefully slid it between the rope and Dean’s skin. Dean jerked when he felt the cool metal and Cas gently reassured him before cutting through the ropes.

Once the ropes were out of the way Cas pulled the plug from Dean and tossed it aside. He palmed at his own hard cock then pulled it out and lined himself up. He grabbed the rope on Dean’s ribs, pulling him back hard and sinking home in one motion. Dean’s head shot back and he cried out, his whole body tensing from all the sensations he was feeling.

Cas held the ropes tight as he thrust hard and pulled Dean back to match his thrusts. Dean couldn’t think straight. His mouth couldn’t form words. He had to think through the haze. Tears rolled down his cheeks and fell to the bed below as his body was being overstimulated. He tried to form words, tried to beg for the ring to come off, but words just wouldn’t come. 

Cas felt his body tensing and waited for just the right moment. He pulled the cock ring off Dean and hit his prostate, both men crying out in release at the same time.

Cas panted hard as he came down from the high and Dean sagged in his bonds. “Dean?”

Cas pulled away from Dean spinning him around and lifting his limp head. “Dean? Dean, can you hear me?” Cas asked as he brushed Dean’s sweat soaked hair back. “Charlie, let him down.”

Charlie rushed over to the wall and pressed the button. Cas dropped to his knees on the bed as he gently guided Dean onto it. “Help me get him out of this.” Cas said as he worked on one side of his body and Charlie moved to undo the knots on the other.

“He enters subspace pretty easy, huh?”

“Yeah. Thank you for staying. I know this had to be incredibly awkward for you.”

“Dude. The only awkward thing was seeing you so aroused you like lost your shit. I’ve known you, what, five years, and I’ve never seen that happen.”

“It normally doesn’t. It’s just him.” Cas said as he finally freed Dean of all the ropes. He gently pulled Dean to him and held him close. “God I hope he doesn’t have a bad drop after this.”

“He’s had one before?”

“The first time we did shibari. The next day his mind went to a dark place.” Cas said as he motioned for the blanket that was on one of the chairs.

Charlie grabbed it and brought it back to him, watching as Cas lovingly wrapped it around Dean’s exhausted body. Dean sighed and snuggled against Cas. “You really love him, huh?”

“I… Isn’t it too soon for words like that?”

“Not if you feel them.”

Cas looked down at Dean and gently stroked his face. “I think that might be what I feel.”

“Dude.” Charlie said as she showed him the back of his camera. The picture displayed had been taken since the ropes were removed but before he’d asked Charlie for the blanket. The rope marks covering Dean’s body looked gorgeous, but the look on his face as he gazed at Dean in his arms said it all. “You’re so far gone you didn’t even know what hit you.”

“I think he’s it for me.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys and girls hang out after the session and get to know each other a little better. Sam come home from school and he and Charlie hit it off.

Gilda and Charlie had food ready when Castiel and Dean finally emerged from the studio, Dean leaning heavily on Cas the whole way. Cas guided them over to the chairs and sat down helping Dean into his lap. He kissed Dean softly then smiled at the girls. 

“Thank you for making food.”

Charlie shrugged. “It’s not like you haven’t done the same when we’ve had intense scenes during our sessions. Never thought I’d get to repay the favor one day.”

“I still appreciate that you did and how much you helped in the studio.”

“You’re welcome.” Charlie said as she put two plates in front of Cas then sat beside Gilda with her own. “So, I just gotta ask, how did you two meet?”

Cas picked up some food and held it to Dean, who accepted it. “I met Dean at the strip club he was working at.”

Two pairs of eyes widened. “You went to a strip club?”

“I did. The first time was completely Gabriel’s fault. He tricked me into thinking we were going somewhere else.”

“Made him think he was going for angel cake.” Dean added with a small chuckle.

Charlie looked at both of them. “The first time? That means you went back.”

“I did. Every day for two weeks.”

“He sat in a dark corner like a creeper.”

“Hush, Dean.” Cas said with a chuckle as he fed him more food. “The last night I decided to sit somewhere that Dean would pass during his rounds. There was a table that was there almost every night that concerned me and I planned to intercept Dean before he got to them. When he came out he headed right for them and I panicked and waved money at him.”

“I was so fucking happy to see that money. Shocked me when I saw the creeper from the corner was the one holding it.”

“I wasn’t a creeper.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Dude. You sat in the corner. You didn’t interact with anyone, didn’t watch any of the other guys. You only focused on me. That’s a creeper.”

“Whatever.” Cas said as he put more food in Dean’s mouth. “Anyhow, I got him in a back room for a lap dance and then-“

“He bought me.”

“I did not buy you!” Dean gave Cas a look. “I bought your time.”

“For the whole night. For a shit ton of money.”

Cas shrugged. “I would have paid more to get you away from what I’d heard.”

Charlie was leaning forward with her chin on both of her fists. “How much did you pay?”

“Six thousand. He said he didn’t do whole nights so I told him to give me a figure he couldn’t say no to and then offered more.”

“Six thousand dollars?!? For one night of sex?!?”

“We didn’t have sex, Charlie.” Dean shook his head to confirm Cas’ statement.

“He brought me back here and we hung out. He told me what Dick and his guys said they were gonna do to me that night and offered me a job with room and board. Then we went and picked up Sammy and moved in.”

“Job? As a model?”

“Nope. I maintain things around here. The model thing came later.”

“Wow. So it’s kinda like he was your guardian angel and he swooped down and pulled you from hell.”

“Only I was the one wearing the wings.” Dean chuckled. Cas got silent for a moment and Dean glanced at him. “Cas? You ok?”

Cas nodded then looked straight at Charlie. “You’re a fucking genius.”

“Well, duh, but, uh, what did I say?”

“How do you feel about helping Dean and I with a shibari session where we’d both be the models?”

Charlie’s eyes widened. “You want me to use shibari on you?!?”

Cas nodded. “And photograph it. Your name would be attached to any photos that got released.”

“That’d be...fucking awesome!”

Cas smiled. “It’ll take a while for me to work all the details out, but I think it’ll be a show stopper.”

Charlie buzzed with excitement. “I can’t wait to see what you have planned!”

Cas took a bite of his food. “I might have to use a spare room or rent a studio. It’ll take time to perfect my image and if I use this studio then we won’t be able to use it until it’s done...unless I rearrange…”

Charlie could see that Cas was lost in thought so she focused on Dean. “So. You were a stripper. How long had you been doing that?”

Dean swallowed what he had in his mouth. “A little under a year.” Cas glanced at Dean.

“And what were you doing before that?”

Dean popped some food in his mouth, chewing and swallowing. “I was an artist. An apprentice at a tattoo shop to be exact.” Cas’ head whipped around to look at Dean.

“Oh really?” Charlie asked giving Cas a knowing look. “So why did you stop? It wasn’t something you liked?”

“No. I loved it and I was good at it. Even Cain said I was good and he doesn’t give compliments easily. I, uh. I started doing both to make ends meet. Neither job was giving me enough hours to make enough money. But just as I was starting to get requests at the shop my gear was stolen. Cain didn’t want to lose me, but without a machine I couldn’t do shit. A few days later Crowley offered me more hours.”

“Why didn’t you get a new machine and go back?”

Dean shrugged. “My Baby died a few months prior so I had to put aside money for that and for Sam to go to college and pay bills. There was never enough at the end of the months.

Cas took in the horrified look on both women’s faces. “Baby is his car. He means money for parts.” Both woman breathed a sigh of relief. Cas gently turned Dean’s face toward his own. “Is that why you hadn’t spoken to Bobby in a year?”

Dean shrugged and sighed. “What was I supposed to say when he asked how things were going or asked about my job? I couldn’t tell him I was shaking my junk in men’s faces and giving lap dances. He would have been ashamed of me. I didn’t even want Sammy knowing, but there was no way to hide it from the kid. He’s too damn smart. The nerd.”

Cas kissed Dean softly then smiled against his lips. “He and Charlie will probably become best friends. She’s quite the nerd as well.”

“And damn proud of it!” Charlie exclaimed. “He in any AP classes?”

Dean scoffed. “Those put him to sleep. He’s at Clear Springs. I can’t thank Cas enough for covering his tuition.”

“Holy shit, dude. I need to meet this kid.”

Cas glanced at the time. “He should be home in about thirty minutes.” He said then swatted Dean’s leg. “You might want to put more than boxers on.”

Dean nodded and got off Cas’ lap, stretching and popping his back. He went into the studio and put on the clothes he’d discarded earlier then went back and sat in Cas’ lap.

Charlie ate a bite then glanced from Cas to Dean. “So...if you had the equipment would you want to do tattoos again?” Cas narrowed his eyes at Charlie.

“Hell yeah. I miss doing it. I’m only gonna model for Cas so I’d assume I could pick up a few shifts here and there.”

“I know someone who’d probably help you get equipment. He’s been wanting some ink for a while but he can’t really stand people touching him so it’s kept him from getting it done.”

Dean gave Charlie a confused look then his eyebrows shot to his hairline. Charlie nodded with a smirk and Dean turned back to look at Cas. “You?”

Cas glared at Charlie. “You’re lucky you’re the Dom or I’d ask Gilda to punish you.” Charlie head tilted back as she barked in laughter. Cas glanced at Dean. “Yeah. I’ve wanted a back piece. I tried to go in for something small once but my skin crawled when they smoothed the stencil on my skin.”

Dean looked at Cas in shock. “A back piece? You’d look so fucking hot with ink.”

Cas fidgeted a little. “If you had the equipment would you be comfortable working on me?”

“Dude, I’d be fucking honored.”

Sam walked in the door approximately 30 minutes later and walked into the kitchen stopping short when he found it full. “Uh, hi.”

“Sammy! This is Charlie and Gilda. They’re friends of Cas’. Ladies, this is my brother, Sammy.”

“I heard you’re a nerd.” Charlie said with a little smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down. “I’m not a nerd. Dean’s just an ass.”

Charlie did the Vulcan salute as she winked at Sam. “I hear that.”

“Hey!”

Sam laughed as he grabbed some food and sat at an empty chair. “Taking it you’re a nerd too.”

“Yep.” Charlie said making a popping sound on the p. “Big into LARP and cosplay and all that.”

“Cool. What do you do?”

“I’m a hacker, but I’m also a software designer. What do you want to do?”

Sam swallowed a bite. “Thinking about Stanford for pre-law.”

“Wow. Impressive.”

“Told you every spare cent had to go to his college fund.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Not if he’s going to Springs. He’ll get some sort of scholarship. Hell, he might even get a free ride.”

“That’d be awesome. Stanford costs a ton.”

Dean snuggled against Cas as he listened to Sam and Charlie talk animatedly about nerd stuff. Gilda sometimes joined their conversation. He wasn’t surprised they were all into the same books and movies and shit like that. 

Dean ran his hand over Cas’ heart and smiled when Cas squeezed him tighter. It was times like this that Dean wondered when he’d wake up and be back in that shithole and would be expected to dance and perform for Dick. Dean shuddered at the thought and Cas looked down at him with his brows drawn together. 

Dean shook his head and kissed Cas’ neck softly. “It’s nothing.” He whispered. “Just hoping I don’t wake up to my old life.”

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. “You won’t.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam thinks Dean is being hurt by Cas and confronts him.

Sam cornered Dean in the kitchen while Cas was by the pool with the girls. Dean glanced at him as he worked on dinner. “Got something you need to say?”

“What’s going on here, Dean? What have you gotten yourself into?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Sam stormed over to Dean and grabbed his arm, pulling the sleeve of the flannel up exposing the fresh rope marks. Dean jerked his arm away and pulled the sleeve down. “It’s nothing, Sam.”

“Nothing?!? I saw pictures, Dean! He’s been tying you up and taking pictures! How is that nothing?!?”

“Because I want him to, ok!” Dean glanced at the back window and saw Cas looking in at them with a concerned look. Dean smiled and waved.

“You want him to hurt you?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “He’s not hurting me. It’s called shibari and it’s the modeling job I’m doing right now.”

Sam scoffed. “Sounds more like an excuse to tie you up and hurt you. You sure it’s even a real job and not just a way for him to be some kinky fuck?”

Dean’s jaw hardened as his lips thinned. “Don’t talk about Cas like that.”

“Why not? If he’s some sick perverted asshole then he deserves for me to call him it.”

“Because he’s not and I love him!” Dean’s eyes widened as he covered his mouth with his hand.

The back door opened and Cas peeked his head in. “Everything ok in here?”

Dean swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Yeah. Everything’s good.”

“You sure?”

Dean looked at Cas and smiled. “Yeah. Sam and I just need some time to finish our talk, please.”

Cas nodded and went back to where he’d been sitting saying something to Charlie and Gilda who had also been looking toward the kitchen. Dean ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

“You love him?”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Apparently. Look, I know it looks like he’s doing something bad to me, but he’s not. It’s...I dunno. It’s kinda awesome. It feels awesome and the pictures are amazing.”

Sam sat on one of the chairs. “But is it a real job?”

“Yeah.” Dean said as he leaned against the counter. “Charlie’s the other model. The pictures are for some piece about Cas and his photography and him teaching shibari. It’s about how it’s a beautiful art form and while it’s used in BDSM it’s not always about sex and just, yeah.” Dean said as he ran his hand over his face. “Never thought I’d be talking to you about this shit.”

“So is he your Dom?”

Dean blushed. “No… Yes… Maybe? I dunno. I mean it’s not like master/slave shit or whips and chains. It’s more about letting him take some control.”

Sam thought about this for a moment. “You have been less stressed since we moved here. I thought it was just the job change and not having to worry about bills.”

Dean shrugged. “That’s some of it, but Cas helps to take away any stress I have.” Dean looked down and kicked at the floor. “He knows about my cuts and gives me an outlet so I’ll never go down that road again.”

Sam shot out of the chair and to Dean, hugging him tightly. 

Dean chuckled as he returned the hug. “Listen, Cas doesn’t do anything I don’t want him to do. If he can tell I’m uncomfortable or I say no then he doesn’t push it. If I ever feel like he’s abusing me I’ll let you know and we’ll pack up and go to Bobby’s or something. But right now, man, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and apparently I love him.”

Sam laughed. “Only you would have that epiphany while fighting with me.”

Dean shoved Sam away. “Shut up, bitch.”

Sam laughed as he went to the back door and opened it. “Jerk!” He laughed before running over to the pool and doing a cannonball, splashing the other three people out there.

Cas came in shortly pressing against Dean’s back and wrapping his arms around him. “So what was that all about? We could hear both of you shouting.”

Dean leaned back against Cas. “Somehow he saw my rope marks and saw pictures. He was afraid you were hurting me.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “I’m sorry. I thought I was being careful while editing.”

Dean leaned his head to the side. “And I thought I’d been doing a good job of hiding the marks. Don’t blame yourself. He found out, we talked, and we’re good. I told him if you ever cross the line I’ll let him know, but I know that’ll never happen.”

Cas ran his hand down Dean’s body and palmed at his cock. “Is this crossing a line?”

Dean’s head fell back onto Cas’ shoulder as he moaned. “No.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s pulse point as he undid his jeans and pulled him out. He wrapped his fingers around Dean’s length running his thumb over his slit before he started stroking him.

Dean groaned. “He asked if you’re my Dom.”

Cas nibbles on Dean’s earlobe. “Am I?”

Dean’s hips thrust into Cas’ fist. “I dunno. Maybe?” Dean moaned as Cas stroked and twisted. “Maybe we could try?”

Cas stroked Dean faster. “Don’t thrust.” Cas said into Dean’s ear before sucking on Dean’s pulse point.

Dean’s hand found Cas’ thigh and he grabbed it digging his fingers into it hard as a strangled cry was forced from his throat. His other hand found Cas’ hair and tangled in it tightly.

Cas’ hand worked harder. He flicked his wrist and twisted and moved in all the ways that were making Dean lose his mind. Cas pulled away from Dean’s neck, nipping at the bruise he’d left. He could feel Dean tightening. Cas ran his tongue over the shell of Dean’s ear. “Cum.”

Dean’s body arched as he cried out in release. His nail dug into Cas’ skin so hard the skin broke and the fist in Cas’ hair tugged painfully then everything loosened as Dean slumped back against Cas panting.

Cas kissed Dean’s neck as he milked the last of Dean’s cum from his cock. “You take orders well.”

Dean huffed a laugh as he turned his head and kissed Cas deeply. Cas opened his mouth to allow Dean’s tongue access then smiled when he pulled back. Cas fixed Dean’s pants then wrapped his arms around him. “Go change and join us in the pool. You can finish in here after you’ve had a little pool time.”

Dean turned in Cas’ arms and kissed him deeply again then went upstairs to change. Cas grabbed a rag and made sure the cabinets and floor were cleaned then tossed the rag in to be washed before going back outside. “I talked Dean into joining us before we have dinner.” He said as he took his seat.

Charlie fist pumped the air. “Why was he avoiding the pool on the first place?”

Cas glanced over at Sam. “He wasn’t sure how Sam would react to the marks, but he knows about the photo shoots now.”

Charlie looked at her own body. “Yeah… I didn’t think about that. I’m so used to not having to hide them here. Sorry about that, Sam.”

Sam shrugged. “I was just afraid Cas was hurting him. Dean told me he wasn’t.”

Gilda laughed then covered her mouth. “Sorry. It’s just the thought of Castiel causing someone pain is amusing. He wouldn’t hurt a bee.”

Charlie groaned. “Don’t get him started on bees, please.”

“Bees are very important. Without them nothing would survive.”

“Dude, we know!”

Sam glanced at Dean when he walked out in swim trunks and his eyes widened. Dean looked down and wrapped his arms around his chest. “I, uh, I shouldn’t have come out here.” He said as he turned toward the door.

Cas caught his wrist and waited for Dean to look at him. “Please join us. Sam already knows and he’s already seen them. There’s no reason for you to hide.” Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “Are you ashamed of them?”

Dean shook his head. “No.”

Cas searched Dean’s eyes. “If you’re this uncomfortable around someone who already knows about you doing shibari then maybe we shouldn’t be doing the job.”

“No!” Dean yelled making Cas and everyone else jump. “I want to do the job. I don’t want us to stop doing shibari. I just…” Dean glanced at Sam.

Sam gave Dean a lopsided smile. “I wasn’t judging you, Jerk. It’s just shocking to see.”

Cas ran his thumb over Dean’s lips making him look back at him. “We good?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

Cas kissed Dean softly then led him to the pool. Dean got in and immediately splashed Sam. “Whatever, bitch.”

Sam laughed. “Smooth comeback.” Sam raised his eyebrow when he looked at Dean’s shoulder.

“What?”

Sam pushed hard on the bite mark.

“Owww!” Dean exclaimed then looked at the mark. “Oh, that. The fucker bit me.”

“Excuse me? You said I could.”

“Didn’t say I didn’t and I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I just said you did.” Dean said as he grabbed Cas’ head and dunked him.

Cas came up coughing. “Assbutt.”

Dean barked in laughter. “Yeah, you bit there too!”

Sam slapped his hand over his face. “Oh my god! TMI!” He said as he fell back into the water and sank under it.

Dean laughed even harder. Sam knew about the things he and Cas were doing and he was ok with it. Dean could finally let go and allow himself to completely enjoy everything they did.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean uses shibari on Cas 😉

Dean sat on the opposite end of the couch from Castiel with a book in his hand. The silence was deafening and the room felt heavy. It felt nothing like all the other times they had quietly enjoyed each other’s company like this. Cas glanced at him from the editing he was working on.

“Something on your mind?”

Dean chewed on his lip and shook his head and went back to reading his book. Cas went back to editing, glancing at Dean every so often. Cas sighed heavily and looked at Dean. 

“Clearly there is something you want to say. What is it?”

“Will you teach me shibari?”

Cas’ brows shot up. With the amount of tension he hadn’t expected such a simple request. “Of course. The next time the girls are here I can teach you on them.”

Dean nodded and Cas turned back to his editing.

“Have you ever let anyone tie you up?”

Cas’ body stiffened and he didn’t look at Dean. “No.” He said with more force than he meant to.

Dean seemed to shrink in Cas’ peripheral vision. He closed his book and got up. “Never mind. We don’t need to bother them.” He said as he walked past Cas to leave the room. 

Cas grabbed his wrist before he could get past him and gave Dean a confused look. “You don’t want to learn anymore?” Dean refused to meet Cas’ eyes. “...Oh.”

“It’s stupid. Forget I mentioned it.”

“You want to learn to use it on me.” Cas said as he pulled Dean into his lap.

“Yeah.”

Cas pulled Dean closer. “Dean, I’ve never let anyone bind me because I’ve never trusted someone enough to completely give up control.”

“You’re letting Charlie do it.”

Cas dropped his forehead to Dean’s shoulder. “So that’s where this is coming from. I’ve known Charlie for five years. This is the first time I’ve ever asked her to do something like this and it’s because I want to be in a piece with you.” 

Cas lifted his head and kissed Dean’s shoulder as he ran his fingers over the faint marks from their last session. He had no reason not to trust Dean. He knew that. Dean put his trust into him every time he stepped foot into the studio. He put his trust into him the night that he accepted the job and moved Sam into the house. Cas knew he trusted Dean more than he’d trusted anyone else in his life. Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder again. “I trust you.”

Dean’s breathing hitched and he glanced at Cas.

“After you bind me what do you plan on doing?”

Dean turned to look at Cas better. He gently caressed Cas’ cheek. “I’d like to fuck you.”

Cas closed his eyes and swallowed hard as he nuzzled Dean’s hand. “Never done that either, but I trust you.”

Dean lifted Cas’ chin and kissed him softly. “I’ll be gentle.”

“How would you want to bind me?”

Dean ran his fingers over Cas’ lips. “Something simple. I dunno all the fancy names and shit. Maybe just your legs, like how you tied mine to keep them bent and your arms. Nothing complicated or overwhelming.”

A shiver ran through Cas’ body. “Today?”

Dean’s eyes widened. “Only if you’re comfortable doing it today.”

Cas studied Dean’s eyes until the other man blushed and looked away, making him smile. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about doing something like this with you.” Dean looked back at Cas. “I’ve never wanted to do this with anyone else.”

“Yeah. You already told me that.”

“No. I told you that I hadn’t done this. I didn’t even want to with anyone before now. Both have come up, but it was never an option for me. I couldn’t see myself submitting to them at all. But you? I’ve been willing for a while.”

“Oh.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Come on. Let’s go to the studio.” Dean got up, pulling Cas up then led him to the studio. Cas smiled at Dean’s hesitance once  they were behind closed doors. “This is your deal. Tell me how you want me.”

Dean nodded. “Take off your clothes and lay on the bed.” He went over to the cabinet with ropes. “On your back.”

Cas smiled and he did as he was instructed. He glanced over to Dean, who was trying to pick what he wanted to use. “Any of the ropes should be fine. I’d prefer to not use the coarser ropes since it’s my first time, but if that’s what you’ve envisioned then it’s fine.”

Dean shook his head as he picked up some cotton rope. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” He said as he walked back to the bed. 

“I appreciate that.” Cas bent both legs. “Do you remember how to do this part?”

Dean nodded. “I’ve watched how you’ve tied me up.” He said before he got to work on the first leg. As soon as he finished, Cas checked it over and tugged on it.

“Very nice.”

Dean grinned and did the same on the other leg, testing it like Cas had done. Cas motioned for Dean to come close then pulled him down, kissing him deeply. Dean pulled away and swatted Cas’ leg. “On your knees.”

Cas laughed a little and moved onto his knees with Dean’s help. Dean pulled Cas’ arms behind him and bound his wrists. He then bound Cas’ arms at his elbows, wrapping the rope around his arms and torso then locking it in place. Then he wrapped the rope around Cas’ upper arms, then around his shoulders and locked that in place with a strap going under his armpit and behind his neck.

Cas watched what little he could see the entire time, not saying a word. He just concentrated on feeling how Dean was working the ropes and everything felt right. Once Dean had tied off the end Cas tested the ropes.

“You’ve got everything locked?”

“Yeah.” Cas heard the shutter of a camera phone and rolled his eyes then looked at the screen that was placed in front of him. His eyes checked everything carefully.

“I’m speechless. You said simple. While, yes, this is a simple harness, it’s not simple for someone who hasn’t been taught yet.” Cas said as he narrowed his eyes at Dean.

Dean shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. “I watched a tutorial.”

“Who’s?”

“One of yours. It’s on your YouTube.” Dean held up the phone to get another picture.

“No.” Dean furrowed his brow and Cas rolled his eyes. “Take as many as you want, but please use the camera. I can’t do shit with phone pictures.”

“Oh. Um.” Dean put his phone away and picked up the camera, turning it on. “Uh… how do I use this?”

Cas fidgeted. “See on top where it says Manual or Auto? Pick Auto.” Dean did as directed. “Now make sure AF is chosen unless you know how to focus manually.” Dean switched that as well then looked at Cas. “Now you aim and hit the button like normal.”

Dean circled Cas, taking some pictures without any direction. He put the camera down then walked over to Cas and kissed his shoulder. “Now for the certain sexual charge.” He said with a smirk, making Cas groan.

Cas carefully leaned forward and listened to Dean going through the cabinet. He heard his footsteps approach the bed. “You ever used one on yourself?” Cas nodded. Dean lubed the plug up and slowly pushed it into Cas. He gently fucked Cas with the plug before sinking it completely into him.

“Fuck.” Cas groaned. 

Dean nudged the plug making Cas moan and strain against the ropes. Dean leaned over Cas’ shoulder. “Do you always fall apart this easily?”

Cas couldn’t control his laughter. “Fuck you.” 

Dean grinned and patted the plug. “Not today. I’ll be fucking you.” Dean helped Cas to sit up then put the cock ring on him. He held up both remotes where Cas could see them and turned them both on.

Cas groaned as his muscles strained against the restraints. “Fuck, Dean… I’m so fucking turned on right now.”

Dean patted Cas’ cock. “I can see that, but we need pictures first, don’t we?” Cas nodded even though he wanted to say fuck the pictures. Dean shot pictures trying to mimic the angles he’d seen Cas do. A few times Cas gave him slight directions if he felt the angle wasn’t quite right, but mostly Cas’ brain wasn’t even able to think about angles and pictures.

Dean pushed Cas’ chest against the bed and took a few more photos. Cas’ breathing was ragged and his eyes followed Dean’s movements. Dean could see the nervousness setting in. Cas was tensing and Dean was pretty sure he knew how to make him relax. Dean finally set the camera down and smirked. He very slowly unbuttoned his flannel, pulling it to the side as he went to expose a nipple, here some abs there. He brought his hands to the waist of his jeans and gyrated as he undid the button and pulled the zipper down. 

Cas strained as he watched the show. His breathing became even more labored when Dean grabbed a chair and humped against it as he pushed his jeans further down revealing a fucking g-string, then kicked them off. He ground against the chair a few more times then grabbed the collar of his flannel and popped it back so just the sleeves were still on him. 

Dean strode over to the bed and put one foot on the edge and gyrated his hips just inches from Cas’ face. He let the flannel slip from his arms. Dean smacked Cas’ ass then nudged the plug. “Bet you want my cock in there instead.”

Cas was practically vibrating with need from Dean’s strip tease. He moaned when Dean started fucking him with the vibrator.

“Is that what you want, big boy? You want me to fuck you into the mattress?”

“Dean…If you don’t fuck me right now…”

Dean mouthed at the back of Cas’ shoulder up to his ear. “You’ll what?”

Cas whined. “Dean...please…”

Dean pulled away and slowly removed the g-string then got on the bed. He pulled the plug from Cas and slicked up his fingers then pushed two into him. When they moved easily he added a third. Once he felt Cas was well prepped he stroked his cock with his slick fingers then slowly and gently started pushing into him.

Dean kept one hand on Cas’ hip as the other stroked his side to sooth him. “I know. Just a little more and it’ll feel better.” Dean said as his cock pushed through the tight ring and finally broke through. Cas let out the breath he was holding and Dean continued to stroke his side waiting for Cas to relax.

Cas wiggled his hip a little and Dean watched as he sank further and further into him until he was fully sheathed. Dean massaged Cas’ cheeks as he held still. 

“How you doing?”

“Green. I’m good.”

Dean held Cas’ hips as he slowly thrust into him just to make sure he really was comfortable. He held his hips harder and pulled almost all the way out then slammed back in. Cas cried out and pulled at his restraints. Dean set a brutal pace, punching the air out of Cas’ lungs on every thrust. He held onto the rope pulling Cas back to meet each snap of his hips. Cas shook with the need to release, but couldn’t find the words. Dean snaked a hand under Cas and fumbled to get the cock ring off. Once it was free he, stroked Cas’ cock as he snapped his hips hard and hit his prostate. 

“DEAN!” Cas cried out as his orgasm punched through him, spilling on Dean’s hand and the sheets. Dean’s hips stuttered from the overwhelming pressure of Cas squeezing him. He thrust a few more times then cried out as he filled Cas. Dean trembled and slumped over Cas’ body as he tried to control his breathing.

“Wow. Was not expecting to walk in on that.”

“Get the fuck out Gabriel!” Two voices yelled from the bed, making the shorter man jump and exit the room.

“Holy shit.” Dean said before falling onto the bed next to Cas and laughing.

Cas chuckled a little and nudged Dean as best he could. “Think you could release me?”

Dean wiped away tears. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” He said as he knelt next to Cas and started undoing all the ropes. “So should we soak and make the jackass wait or should we go see what he needs?”

“We can soak after we kick his ass out.” Cas said as he rolled his shoulders once his arms were free.

Dean released one leg and then the other. “True. We soak first and he’ll probably walk in on that too.”

Cas flipped over on his back allowing his body to stretch out. He eyed Dean. “Next time you strip like that you’re riding my cock. I don’t care if I’m bound or not.”

Dean moved and straddled Cas’ hips. “That wasn’t exactly planned. I could see you tensing and I thought it might calm you.”

“You were being a little shit and you know it.”

Dean smirked and shrugged. “Maybe, but it was nice to see you finally get turned on while I stripped for you. You were starting to give me a complex at the club.” Dean ran his hands over Cas’ chest. “You never took your eyes off me, but you never got hard.”

Cas shook his head and swatted Dean off of him then carefully got off the bed with a wince. Cas picked up his boxers and pants and slipped them on then headed out the door. Dean hurried to do the same and followed him.

Gabe looked up at them when they entered the room. “What the actual fuck, Castiel?”

Cas stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. “I should be asking you that since it’s my house.”

Gabe’s jaw dropped. “We had an appointment! You told me to come talk to Dean about his contract!”

Cas deflated a little. He’d forgotten that was today. “I wasn’t expecting you until 2.”

Gabe motioned to the clock. “It’s 2:15!”

Dean chewed on his lip and toed at the plush rug. “Oops. This was my fault. I didn’t know about the meeting.”

Gabe ran his hand over his face. “The last thing I ever needed to see was my baby cousin getting plowed by the hot stripper. I mean, congratulations are in order. But really, guys, I don’t need to see it.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “So...the contract?”

Gabe sat with both of them going over all the points on the contract for him to manage Dean. Dean glanced at Cas a few times, not understanding it all, but Cas smiled at him  reassuringly. When they came to the end, Dean and Gabe signed and Cas witnessed. Gabe put the contract in his briefcase.

“Go shower before Sam gets home. God, you guys reek of sex.” And with that, Gabe was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie freaks when she sees Cas’ rope marks. Dean gets hired for a modeling job.

Cas invited the girls over for a pool party. Dean was manning the grill, making his famous burgers and grilled corn. He also had jalapeño poppers going. Sam was in the pool with Charlie and Gilda. He and Charlie were talking nerd lingo, so Dean was tuning them out. Cas walked outside in his trunks and a shirt. He smirked at Dean, who winked at him, then pulled his shirt off.

“Holy shit, Cas!”

“What?”

“Don’t you what me! I’ve known you for five years and I’ve never seen a single rope mark on you!”

Cas shrugged as he got in the water. “That was before I met Dean.”

Sam groaned and splashed Dean. “It’s bad enough I have to see them on you. Now you’re doing it to him?”

Dean smirked and winked. “Yup.”

Charlie swam over to where Cas was standing in the shallow end. “A harness? How’d he learn to do a harness?”

Cas laughed. “My instructional videos. He learned from me behind my own back.”

Dean grinned. “He thought I’d just tie his hands together. He never expected that.”

“I’d imagine not.” Charlie said as she circled Cas looking at the marks. “Please tell me there’s pictures.”

“There are.” Cas said as Dean pulled out his phone and held it where Charlie could see.

“Holy shit! You bound him and photographed him with your phone!” Charlie said as she barked in laughter.

Cas shot Dean a glare. “I asked you to delete that.”

“And I told you I would when you finished editing the ones from the camera and sent them to me. Until then I keep this one so I can look at it.” Dean said sticking his tongue out at Cas.

Charlie laughed then looked at Cas. “So he knows how to use you’re camera?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “No. I have to teach him how to use it.”

“I know how to use a camera!”

“On auto.” Cas deadpanned.

“So? I got good shots and angles didn’t I?”

Cas acted like he was thinking hard about this. “They were acceptable.”

Dean raised his eyebrow as he pointed the grill fork at Cas. “You must not want a repeat of what happened during that session anytime soon.”

Charlie smacked Cas’ shoulder repeatedly. “You didn’t!”

“We did.”

Charlie squealed. “Oh my god! This is like a huge fucking deal! I’m so happy for you!” Charlie said as she hugged Cas.

Cas laughed softly. “It really isn’t that big of a deal.”

“Seriously? You actually trusted someone enough to let them bind you and fuck you and you think it’s not a big deal?”

Sam groaned. “Guys…”

“Oops. Sorry Sam.”

Cas shook his head. “Ok, ok. For me, yes, it is a big deal.” He glanced at Dean who gave him a small smile. “I never thought I’d find someone like him.”

Charlie rubbed her hand over Cas’ arm. “I know. I’m so glad you did. I’ve never seen you this happy before.”

Dean cleared his throat and tried to hide his blush. “I, uh, have to get something from the kitchen.” He said before going inside.

Charlie smirked and headed for the stairs, stopping when Cas grabbed her arm. “Don’t embarrass him further.”

“I won’t.” She said as she got out, wrapped a towel around herself and went inside. Charlie sat at a stool at the island. “You do know how big of a deal that was, right?”

Dean shrugged. “Kind of. I know both were firsts  for him.”

Charlie watched Dean for a moment. “I don’t think you understand how big all of this is. I don’t just mean you binding him and having sex. I mean him moving you in here and you two starting a relationship. I mean all of it.”

Dean sat across from Charlie. “He doesn’t act like any of it is, but I’ve seen how you and Gilda act about it so I’ve gathered that it must be.”

Charlie glanced out the window. “He hasn’t had it easy. Being demisexual with touch aversion has made relationships hard for him. There was one guy he was with…” Dean gave Charlie a look. “I know. You don’t want to think about him with other people, but hear me out. There was one guy he was with that the connection was there. Like, Cas had fallen for him, but if the guy touched him, his skin crawled. Actually, the last few were like that. Cas tried. He really did. He pushed himself to be ok with his touches and tried to be ok with touching him. It didn’t work. One day Cas told me he felt like he was allowing him to molest him because the touches were unwanted. I made the guy stop coming around.”

Dean ran his hand over his face. “Do you think he’s done that with me? I mean I fucking kissed him the first night we stayed here.”

Charlie eyed him. “What did he do or say about it?”

“He, uh, kissed me back. He had a hand on my hip and in my hair. The next morning I apologized and he said it was nice.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. “My Castiel?”

Dean gave her a look. “Pretty sure he’d say he’s mine.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah. But, holy shit dude. The first night?” Dean nodded. “And you’d never interacted before that night?”

“No.”

“Listen, if he touched you and it wasn’t to push you away or felt anything like how he touches you now, then he didn’t feel like you were taking advantage of him.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“You love him, huh.”

Dean glanced out the window with a smile. “That obvious?”

“Uh, yeah.”

————

Cas hung up the phone with Gabe. Someone wanted Dean to model a new clothing line for magazine ads! Cas couldn’t believe Dean already had his first modeling gig. Well, he could believe it. He knew how beautiful his boyfriend was, but for him to be found this quick was amazing.

Cas glanced out the window and saw Dean working on the Impala. He quickly grabbed his camera and went out there and started snapping pictures.

Dean glanced up at Cas an chuckled. “Really? I’m covered in grease, Cas.”

Cas snapped a few more photos. “I know. You look fucking hot like that.”

Dean glanced at Cas through his eyelashes. “I don’t always look hot?”

“Nah. More like mildly warm.”

Dean shook his head and reached into the engine to loosen something. Cas moved quickly, shooting multiple angles. “So, I just got off the phone with Gabe.”

“What’d the short stack want?” Dean grunted as he fought with the part, the camera catching everything. “Son of a bitch!”

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Cas said as he undid the top of Dean’s jumpsuit and opened the front a little.

Dean stopped and looked up at Cas. “Seriously?”

Cas tilted his head as he looked Dean over. “Your right. Your torso needs grease.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to work.”

“So am I.”

Dean sighed and smeared grease on the exposed bare skin. “Better?” He asked as he went back to working.

“Much.” Cas replies as he snapped away. “So, anyway. Someone saw your site and contacted Gabe about you doing a shoot.”

Dean’s hand slipped off the tool as he righted himself too fast and smacked the hood. “Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled as he rubbed the back of his head and checked his hand for any blood.

“You ok?”

“Yeah. I’ll survive. This is like a real gig? Like nobody pulled strings to make it look real?”

Cas laughed. “It’s real. They wanted just you, but when Gabe told them you only work with me they had to agree to both of us. They want us there next week.”

“Awesome.” Dean said with a smile. “Now can I get back to fixing Baby?”

“I can’t talk you into taking the top half off can I?”

Dean raised his eyebrow. “And have it fall off my ass?”

“Mmm. That’d be hot.”

“I’m not working on my car naked, Cas.”

Cas pouted. “Why not?”

Dean put his hands on his hips and looked at Cas. “When it’s a shoot, sure. I’ll do whatever. But when it’s me working...I’m not getting naked unless you’re bending me over her and fucking me hard.”

Cas tugged at the fabric of the jumper. “That can be arranged after a few pictures.”

Dean zipped the front up and gave Cas a playful shove. “Get out of here. Go do some editing if you want to see my naked body.”

“You’re no fun.” Cas said as he snapped one more picture then went inside.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shoot Dean was hired for isn’t what they expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted rape in this chapter. No clothes get removed, but it’s still attempted.

Cas pulled up to the studio he and Dean would be shooting at for the new job. Dean got out and looked around. It looked like some sort of warehouse. He looked at Cas, who was putting the strap of his bag over his shoulder. Dean opened the door, letting Cas in, then walked in behind him.

“Hello, Dean, or should I say, Michael.”

“Cas run!” Dean yelled as Dick grabbed him.

Two guys grabbed Cas. One held his arms behind him as the other punched him in the stomach.

“Leave him alone!”

“What? Don’t want us to hurt your little boyfriend?” Dick asked into Dean’s ear.

Dean swallowed hard as his eyes caught Cas’. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my photographer.”

Dick ran his tongue over Dean’s neck then bit it hard, making him wince. “Then you won’t mind if my guys fuck him while we have a little fun.”

Dean blinked back tears. “As long as you don’t hurt him. I still need him for jobs.”

Cas knew what angle Dean was playing. He knew if Dick placed him as the guy from the club then things would get bad. He waited until Dick was focused on Dean’s neck and Dean’s eyes were on his and mouthed ‘I love you’.

Dean’s eyes widened as he tried harder the steel himself. He tilted his head and ran his fingers through Dick’s hair. 

Dick smirked. “You like that, huh?”

Dean swallowed hard. “Mmhmm.” He grabbed one of Dick’s hands and pushed it under his own shirt. “Touch me. I know you want to.”

Dick ran his hand over Dean’s abs and chest then down to the bulge in his pants and started palming at it. Dean’s eyes squeezed shut as he forced his hips to roll forward. When he opened them he was glad to see that they still had an audience and nobody was focused on Cas.

Dean snaked his hand between them, palming at Dick’s cock. “Bet you’d love to see my lips stretched around that, huh?”

Dick smirked and shoved Dean to his knees. Dean ran his hands up and down Dick’s thighs then mouthed at his cock as his hands ran up under his shirt to caress his skin. Dean’s heartbeat raced as he mouthed at Dick even more, running his hands around his sides to his back. He bit down as he grabbed the gun he knew was in Dicks waistband and jumped up, aiming it at Dick.

“Let him go or I shoot your fucking boss!”

Dean knew the other two men didn’t have guns. They never carried at the club, only Dick. God he hoped they didn’t carry outside the club!

“I said let him go or I fucking shoot your boss!”

Dean didn’t hear any movement. He cocked the gun. “If I don’t fucking hear Cas in the next three fucking seconds I WILL shoot your boss!!”

“3”

“2”

“1”

Two shots rang out as two bullets hit Dick in the knee. Dick cried out in pain and held his leg. Dean turned his attention to the guys holding Cas. Cas’ pants were undone, but not down and one dude was holding his hand over his mouth. Dean walked toward them.

“Fucking let him go!!”

Both guys backed away with their hands in the air and Cas gulped in a big breath and tried to stand on shaky legs. Dean glanced around and saw zip tie cuffs. 

“Cuff yourselves to the fucking pipe! NOW!”

Dean watched as both assholes jumped and did as told. Once he was sure they were secure, and Dick wasn’t getting up anytime soon, he grabbed Cas’ bag and put it over his shoulder then helped Cas out the door. He turned one last time with the gun drawn and checked the three men then hurried to the car with Cas.

Dean fished the keys from Cas’ pocket and helped him in, tossing his bag in the back then slid into the drivers side. He cranked the car and floored it out of there. 

Dean glanced over at Cas and saw him still trembling and breathing hard. He gently placed his hand on Cas’ thigh, not moving it when he flinched.

“Cas. It’s me. I’m here. We’re ok.” Dean gently ran his hand up and down Cas’ thigh until he calmed down. “Cas?”

Cas glanced at Dean.

“I love you too, man. I wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you.”

Cas placed his hand on top of Dean’s. “I didn’t want anything to happen to you either.” He threaded their fingers together, getting strength from Dean. “You were amazing back there. How did you know?”

Dean squeezed Cas’ hand as he drove. “That Dick had a gun and they didn’t? Guess you could say something good came from them always being at the club. Dumb and Dumber never carried so I was praying today wasn’t the day they started.”

Dean drove them into an area with new construction. He found where a driveway was laid out to be poured and got out of the car. He wiped the gun down then buried it in the dirt then got back into the car, taking Cas’ hand again before driving home.

They both got out of the car in silence, Cas grabbing his bag of equipment and following Dean into the house. Once Dean was in the safety of their home everything hit. His facade crashed. His heartbeat quickened and it got hard to breathe.

“Dean?”

Dean held onto the wall as he took a step. Everything spun and he felt himself falling.

“Dean!” Cas dropped his bag, not caring about his equipment, and hit his knees, catching Dean before his head could make contact with the floor. Cas smacked Dean’s cheeks. “Dean? Wake up. Please!”

Cas held Dean to him as he called Charlie. “I need you here! Now!” Cas said through his tears.

“Shit. Ok. Ok. Gilda! We gotta go to Cas’! 10 minutes, Cas. We’ll be there in 10 minutes. Wanna tell me what’s going on before we get there?”

Cas sobbed. “We were almost raped, Charlie.”

“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.” Charlie turned to Gilda and filled her in as they drove. “5 minutes. We’re almost there. Gilda and I are going to take care of you guys, ok?”

Cas dropped the phone and held Dean close as he cried. Not even five minutes later Charlie came bursting into the house with Gilda hot on her heels. Cas jumped and pulled Dean closer only to relax when he saw who it was.

“Oh my god, Cas.” Charlie fell to her knees next to the men and pulled them both into her arms. Cas leaned into Charlie as his crying slowed down.

“Help me get him upstairs.” Cas said as he wiped at his eyes. Gilda helped Charlie lift Dean so Cas could stand. Cas put one of Dean’s arms over his shoulders then looked at Charlie and Gilda. Neither had the height required to help him. He took a deep breath and lifted Dean into his arms bridal style.

“You sure you got him?” Charlie asked worriedly.

“Just have to get him to the bed.” Cas said as he steeled himself and walked over to the stairs. If Dean could find the strength to get them out of that warehouse then he  could find the strength to do this. Cas took one step at a time, willing his wobbly legs to not give out on him. Charlie and Gilda followed behind him with their hands on his back. He slowly made it onto the landing and his legs threatened to give out on him. Cas bit his lip and took the final steps to his bedroom. Once Dean’s butt hit the mattress his legs finally betrayed him and he hit his already bruised knees.

Charlie rushed into the room, hugging Cas from behind. “Let’s get you cleaned up and into something comfortable. Gilda will sit in here with Dean and let us know when he wakes up.” Cas nodded and allowed Charlie to help him up and into the shower.

Cas felt slightly better after the shower. He walked into the bedroom and sighed when he saw Dean was still out. He pulled out some pajamas and walked over to the bed, gently stripping Dean and putting them onto him then got in the bed beside him, holding him close.

Charlie sat on the edge of the bed with Gilda. “You wanna tell us about it?”

Cas sighed. “It was a set up. We were hired for a shoot and when we walked in we were ambushed by the guys from the club. Dick grabbed Dean and his goons grabbed me.” Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Dick said his goons could have me and he’d get Dean.” Cas blinked back tears. “I didn’t know if we’d both make it out alive so I mouthed ‘I love you’ to Dean.”

“Gave me strength.” Dean mumbled drowsily.

“Dean!”

Dean squeezed his eyes closed and held his head. “Loud.”

“Sorry.” Cas whispered as he kissed Dean’s forehead. “I’m just so glad you’re ok.”

“What’d you give him strength to do?” Charlie asked.

Cas kissed Dean softly. “He seduced him so he could grab his gun. He shot Dick when the goons wouldn’t let me go then made them cuff themselves and got us out of there.” Cas looked into Dean’s eyes when they opened. “You were amazing.”

Dean snuggled against Cas. “Had to save you.”

Charlie and Gilda’s eyes widened. “He shot someone?” Gilda asked.

Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair and kissed the top of his head. “He did. I was falling apart but Dean held it together.”

Dean snuggled even closer then pulled back when Cas winced. He gave Cas a confused look then his eyes widened and he gasped. Dean grabbed the hem of Cas’ shirt and lifted it. He gently ran his fingers over the bruise. “He punched you.”

“It’s ok, Dean. It’s just a bruise. It’ll heal.” Cas said as he played with Dean’s hair. “It’s not as bad as having teeth marks on my dick and two bullets in my knee.”

Dean huffed a laugh and rested his head on Cas’ chest. “I fucking bit Dick’s dick.”

Cas ran his hands from Dean’s hair down his back. “It was a very effective distraction for you to grab the gun.”

Dean groaned. “I need to Clorox my mouth.”

“Wait. I thought nothing actually happened…” Charlie said with some confusion.

Cas scratched up Dean’s back then ran his palms back down it. “It was still in his pants, so no,  _ that _ didn’t happen.” Cas continued with the motion on Dean’s back as he felt him relax. He glanced at the clock. “Sam will be home soon. Can you please tell him that something happened, but we’re fine?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah. Of course. We’ll just be downstairs if you need anything. And, we’re staying the night just in case.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without both of you.” As soon as the door closed and they were alone Cas felt tears hit his shirt. He gently embraced Dean. “I know, Dean. I know.”

Dean cried into Cas’ chest. “I coulda gotten you killed, Cas.”

“But that didn’t happen.”

Dean clutched Cas’ shirt as the tears continued to fall. “What was I thinking? What if Dick caught on to what I was doing? What if his goons had guns?”

Cas closed his eyes as he held Dean close. “You saw them hit me. You heard what Dick said they’d do to me and what he’d do to you. You acted on instinct, Dean. You didn’t want us to get hurt so you did what you had to. You saved us, Dean. I’m so fucking proud of you.” Cas gently stroked Dean’s hair. “And please don’t feel bad about what you did to distract Dick. It distracted them, too. I knew what you were doing and I was in awe.” Cas kissed the top of Dean’s hair. “I… fuck, Dean. I saw the whole thing and I still can’t believe it. How you handled it...that was straight out of a movie or something.”

Dean wiped his eyes and chuckled a little. “I felt pretty badass after I got the gun.”

“Everything you did after I told you I loved you was badass.” Cas gently lifted Dean’s chin and looked into his eyes. “I love you, Dean Winchester. I love you so damn much.”

Dean smiled softly. “I love you, too.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the aftermath

Dean slowly started withdrawing from his and Cas’ normal activities. He stopped hanging out with Charlie and Gilda when they visited. He barely even spent any time with Sam. 

Dick’s attack damaged him more than he thought it would. He thought that he’d be fine since he only had to touch him a little, even though the way he touched him was the last thing he’d wanted to do. But he’d made the conscious choice to do what he did because he knew he couldn’t let them hurt Cas. He knew he’d never be able to live with himself if he’d let that happen. He knew if he distracted Dick and his goons enough he’d be able to make them stop long enough to put his plan in action.

Everything worked exactly like his adrenaline fueled mind had planned it. So he didn’t understand why he felt so shitty. He didn’t understand why he felt so dirty. Why he felt like he shouldn’t let anyone come near him. Why he felt tainted. Why he felt like he was 16 again and John’s poker buddy had just finished using him for hours.

Dean leaned over Baby’s engine with his eyes closed trying to will the tears from coming. How had he convinced himself that he was worthy enough to be with someone as awesome as Cas? He never should have let Cas save him that night. He should have just gone with Dick and been the good little whore he was supposed to be. If he’d done that then Cas never would have been in that warehouse with him. 

The sound of a camera shutter drew him from his thoughts. “What are you doing?” He asked without turning around.

“I thought I could get a few pictures of you working on Baby.”

Dean gripped Baby hard. “I came out here to be alone, Cas.”

“Oh.” There was a long pause where Dean squeezed his eyes shut. “I guess I’ll just leave you alone then.”

“Like I said, that was kinda the point.”

Dean listened to the footsteps retreating to the house and the door close harshly. Tears rolled down his cheeks. This was better. He needed to be alone. 

————

Cas sat in bed reading and waiting for Dean to finish in the garage with Baby and come to bed. He heard Dean walk up the stairs then the footsteps stopped outside the bedroom door. Cas held his breath as he waited. The knob slowly turned and Dean entered going straight to the dresser. 

Cas watched as Dean pulled out his pajamas and some clothes. Cas worried his lower lip then blinked back tears when Dean exited the room without so much as a glance in his direction. He heard the door to the guest room, Dean’s old room, close followed shortly by the shower running. 

Cas laid down and turned off his light. He hugged Dean’s pillow close as he cried, unaware that Dean was doing the same in the shower two doors down.

Cas could feel his heart breaking. He’d had a broken heart once and it never felt like this. This felt like his heart was shattered. Cas thought Dean just needed some time...needed some space. He thought Dean would work through whatever was going on in his head then he’d come back to him. He never thought Dean would stop loving him.

————

Charlie and Gilda came over a few days later for one of their planned sessions. They walked into the studio and glanced at each other when they found Dean sitting on a chair in the corner playing with his phone and Cas near the bed messing with his camera.

Charlie walked up to Cas. “So what’s the plan today?”

Cas looked up at her with dead eyes and explained what they’d be doing then turned his attention back to his camera.

Charlie glanced at Gilda before removing her clothes and getting on the bed. Cas set the camera down and collected the ropes he needed. He walked over to Charlie and started binding her. There was no joking or idle chit chat like normal. Everything was silent and the air was heavy. Once Cas got the ropes how he wanted them he started snapping photos. Every so many photos he’d tell Charlie to shift or position her. When he was done he released her and she got off the bed and got dressed.

Dean sighed heavily as he got up from where he was seated and made his way over to the bed. “How do you want me?” He asked as he removed his clothes.

Cas shrugged and looked at Charlie. “Charlie? Could you please bind him?” Dean looked at Cas for the first time since entering the room.

“Uh, sure. What do you want me to do?”

Cas shrugged again. “I trust your judgement.”

Dean set his jaw and allowed Charlie to weave the ropes around him as he willed the tears not to come. This was what he wanted. He wanted distance from Cas. He just wished it didn’t hurt so much.

Cas moved in closer once Charlie was done and started taking photos. His angles were calculated and he only shot for the photos he needed.

Charlie sat down with Gilda and glanced at her. “Holy shit.” She whispered. Gilda worried her lip and nodded.

Cas reached out to reposition Dean and a shiver ran up his body. “Charlie? Can you please help?”

Charlie hurried over and changed Dean’s position. She gently wiped away a rogue tear from his cheek before Cas could see it then backed away. 

Cas snapped a few more photos then glanced at Dean without a camera between them. “I’m done.” He said as he removed the card from the camera and left the room.

Charlie watched Cas go then turned back to Dean, who was crying, and quickly helped him out of his ropes. “I’ll talk to him.”

Dean wiped away his tears and shook his head. “No. It’s my fault. It’s better this way.” He said as he pulled on his clothes then left the room.

Charlie looked at Gilda. “What the fuck?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas “talk” while arguing. Sam is finally told what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean suffers from an anxiety attack and hurts himself to ground himself.

Dean slowly entered Cas’ room rubbing the back of his neck. “Sam and I are gonna go to Bobby’s.”

Cas looked up at Dean as tears started to stream down his cheeks. “You’re...You’re leaving me?” He asked as his voice broke before he put his face in his hands and sobs wracked his body.

“Shit.” Dean ran over to Cas and pulled him into a tight hug. “Shhh. No. I’m not leaving you. I just thought…” Dean sighed. “We’ve been dancing around each other since it happened. I just thought maybe we could use a break.”

Cas tensed then shoved Dean away so hard he stumbled and hit the dresser. “ _ We’ve _ been dancing around each other?!? That’s bullshit, Dean, and you know it! I’ve been trying to do shit with you! I’ve been trying to be near you!  _ You’re _ the one pushing  _ me _ away!” Dean started to say something, but Cas cut him off. “You act like you were the only fucking one in that room that day!”

“I know I wasn’t, Cas! If I was I would have just let him do what he wanted so I could leave! I couldn’t let them hurt you! I couldn’t let him hurt me in front of you!”

“Yeah, and you did something about it! You got us out of there safely! What did I do, Dean? I stood there and let him touch you.”

“Cas…”

“No, Dean. You aren’t the only one dealing with what happened that day. You don’t get to decide that I need space or time away from you. I get that you’ve needed space to deal with it and I’ve been trying really hard to not let it affect me, but god dammit, Dean, it’s fucking killing me. You sit there and isolate yourself and feel all pissed off and let your anger and self loathing fill you. I get pushed away and I feel hollow and abandoned. And now you’re really going to abandon me?” Cas wiped away tears. “If you leave me right now then…” Cas took a deep breath. “Then I won’t expect you to ever come back here. I won’t be able to come back from that.”

Dean wiped away tears as fast as he could but they just kept coming. He reached for Cas and pulled back his hand when Cas flinched. Dean collapsed to the floor as the tears flowed more freely. He gasped for air and fell forward on his hands and knees when it got even harder to breathe. He felt like he was dying. 

An anxiety attack. He knew it was an anxiety attack, but that didn’t make it any better. He’d pushed Cas away. Dick and his goons hadn’t made Cas feel like this. He had. He didn’t deserve Cas. He never had. 

Black spots started to cloud Dean’s vision. He could feel hands on his face and barely make out blue eyes. Cas was saying something, but Dean couldn’t hear it over the pounding of his heart in his head. 

The blue eyes were gone, but a warm body was pressed to Dean’s back and arms were around him. He could hear Cas’ voice in his ear and feel the rise and fall of his chest. Dean tried hard to focus. He dug his nails into his own arms so hard he broke the skin. The pain helped to ground him and he could finally make out what Cas was saying.

“Breathe in…” Cas inhaled deeply. “Breathe out…” Cas exhaled deeply.

He was repeating it like a mantra. Dean scratched his arm hard as he tried to match Cas’ breaths.

“Good. Keep going. Breathe in… Breathe out…”

Dean’s breaths kept matching closer and closer to Cas’ until they were both inhaling and exhaling at the same time. Dean’s muscles started to relax and he slumped against Cas, completely drained.

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have said that. I love you so much. I just… I need you, Dean. I need you here with me. I need you supporting me. We need each other.”

Dean tried to say something but ended up coughing instead. Cas held him through his coughing fit. “Love...you.”

“Are you feeling better?” Dean shrugged slightly. “Did tearing up your arm help you?”

Dean glanced at his bloody arm. “Grounded.”

“It grounded you?” Dean nodded. “That helped you hear me and breathe with me?” Dean nodded again. “You really scared me for a second there. I thought you were going to pass out.”

“Almost...did.”

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. “I’m glad you didn’t.” Cas slowly got to his feet keeping a hold of Dean’s arm to keep him from slumping over. He then helped him stand and slowly moved both of them to the bed. He gently laid Dean down. “I’m just going to the bathroom for the first aid kit.” He said before hurrying and grabbing it and some towels, wetting one. He went back into the bedroom and put a towel under Dean’s arm then cleaned it as gently as possible before dressing and bandaging the wounds. 

Cas put all the items aside and climbed into bed with Dean. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly. If you need to go to Bobby’s then I understand.” 

Dean shook his head. “Don’t need to.” Dean mumbled as he snuggled closer to Cas.

Cas pulled Dean closer, kissing the top of his head. “Get some rest, Dean.”

Cas held Dean close and watched him as he fell asleep. He continued to hold him until he was sure he was completely asleep then he carefully got out of bed and went downstairs to where Sam was working on his homework.

Sam sighed and looked up at Cas. “How is he?”

Cas grabbed a drink from the fridge. “He’s asleep.”

“In your room?” Cas nodded. “So are you two ok again?”

Cas sat down with a sigh. “I don’t know. That might take a while.”

“What happened? Things were great then they weren’t. What are you keeping from me?”

Cas glanced up toward the bedroom then ran his hand over his face. “The guy from the club that I saved both of you from by moving you here… He, uh… He hired Dean to model. It was a set up and we walked right into it.”

“What happened?”

“Not what he planned.” Cas sighed and closed his eyes. “He planned to rape us. He wanted Dean. He didn’t care about me so he was going to let his guys have me.” Cas glanced at Sam then looked down. “I don’t know what would have happened after that. Dean distracted them and grabbed the guy’s gun and shot his knee then got us out of there.”

“Holy shit.”

Cas sighed. “Yeah. Dean’s been pushing me away since and when he came in my room he said he was taking you to Bobby’s.” Cas ran his fingers through his hair. “We fought and he had an anxiety attack and now he’s sleeping.”

“Are you ok?”

Cas shrugged. “I’m trying to be, but it’s had to deal with it when the man I love isn’t dealing with it with me.” Cas played with a napkin on the island. “I’m hoping since things came out in anger we can move forward and maybe actually talk about what happened or...what almost happened. We both need to process it so we can move past it.”

“Good luck with that. Dean’s shit at talking about feelings and stuff like that.”

“I know.”

“He loves you, you know.”

Cas smiled softly. “Yeah. He told me after we got out of the warehouse. I told him inside, or well, mouthed it. I wanted him to know just in case we didn’t make it out...or I didn’t.”

“He told me the day we were fighting in here. I thought you were some perverted sicko that was getting off on tying him up and hurting him. He told me to stop saying that about you because he loved you. You almost opened the door and heard it.” Sam said with a laugh. “He shocked himself with his confession.”

“Mmmm. So that’s why he looked so shocked. I told Charlie he’s it for me and it’s still the truth. I can’t see myself with anyone else.”

“Have you told him that?”

“I… No.”

“Maybe you should. There’s a big difference between loving him and him being it for you.”

Cas worried his lip. “You don’t think it’d upset him to know that right now?”

“Pssshhha. I know my brother. He blames himself even though he saved you from getting hurt. He thinks you blame him even if you say you don’t. So, he thinks you’ll leave him. Going to Bobby’s? That was his way of getting out before you could hurt him. He needs to know, Cas.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean talk about what happened and have sexy time

Cas made sure he spent as much time in the bedroom as possible while Dean rested. He wanted to make sure that anytime he woke up, he’d be right there. All it took was one time of not being there, and Dean almost stumbling down the stairs to find him, for him to not go far. Every time he left the room he’d leave a note with Dean’s phone so he could just call, but with how things were he wasn’t going further than the kitchen for food.

Cas sat on the bed editing photos as Dean slept beside him. Every so often Cas’ eyes would look over at Dean. They would roam over his exposed skin, his face, the curves the sheet and blanket made as they draped over his body and Cas would feel his heart swell. He’d thought about what Sam had said. He and Dean needed to talk and he needed to tell Dean how he really felt. 

Cas watched as Dean shifted and stretched. Dean smiled softly and slowly blinked his eyes open when Cas’ fingers carded through his hair. “Cas.”

“Hello, Dean. How are you feeling?”

Dean yawned and stretched. “Better.”

“Better enough to talk?”

Dean scrunched up his face. “More sleep.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Dean.”

Dean yawned again. “Ok, ok. I know we need to talk about it.”

Cas closed his laptop and sat it on the side table, then shifted so he was laying on his side looking at Dean. “It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

“Feels like it was.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “Dean, I don’t care that it was a trap set for you and because you work exclusively with me I ended up being there, too. I’m glad I was there.” Dean’s eyes flicked up to meet Cas’. “You said if I wasn’t there you would have just done what he said. You wouldn’t have fought and gotten out of there without being...raped. What if his plan wasn’t just for the warehouse? What if he forced you to go with him and I never saw you again?”

Dean wiped away tears as Cas leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “It sucks that there are people out there like Dick and your dad’s friend. It sucks that you’ve been the target of something like that twice. But, Dean, I’m so fucking proud of you. You have no idea how proud I am of you.” Cas wiped away Dean’s tears. “You survived being attacked as a teenager. You got your brother out of there before something like that could happen to him and you’ve been caring for him since then. You kept a level head in the warehouse and you got us both out safely.”

Dean gently touched Cas’ face. “Them just touching you was bad enough. I knew if they got your clothes off...if they got you naked and raped you…” Dean wiped his tears. “I knew you’d never be the same and I was willing to give myself to all of them, but I knew that would mess you up, too. Then I remembered Dick’s gun and prayed he had it on him and that they weren’t armed. I got lucky, Cas. What if he hadn’t been armed? What if they had been armed? What if you’d gotten shot because I tried to be a hero?”

Cas kissed Dean’s forehead softly. “That’s a lot of what ifs. None of those things happened, so please stop focusing on them. You distracted them and you did a damn good job. I never would have been able to do what you did with someone who isn’t you. I’m not that strong.”

“You have touch aversion, Cas. That doesn’t make you weak.”

Cas shrugged. “It’s still a weakness. I told you I’d keep you safe from him and I had us walk right into a trap because I was so excited you’d been booked that quickly. I didn’t even think about looking into who booked you. And when it came time for me to keep you safe, I didn’t do shit. You did it all and saved both of us.”

Dean shook his head. “If you hadn’t been there he would have raped me. If you hadn’t caught my attention and told me you loved me...I probably would have freaked out and we both would have been hurt.” Dean placed his hand on Cas’ cheek, gently rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb. “You gave me the strength I needed to do what I did. You saved us by giving me that strength.”

Cas smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Cas turned his head and kissed Dean’s palm. “No. You don’t understand. I  _ love _ you. You’re it for me, Dean. I can’t picture myself being with anyone but you.”

Dean swallowed hard. “What are you saying, Cas?”

“I’m saying I want to marry you. I want us to-“ Cas was cut off by Dean closing the gap between them and smashing their lips together. Cas’ eyes widened then he melted into the kiss as his own lips danced with Dean’s. It was their first kiss in almost two weeks. Their first kiss since the warehouse and it felt amazing. 

Cas shifted so he was leaning over Dean as he broke away and gently kissed Dean’s neck. “Is this ok?” Dean swallowed hard and nodded. “Good.” Cas planted kisses down Dean’s body telling him how much he loved and adored him between each one. Dean lifted his hips when Cas started sliding his boxers off of him. Cas continued his trail of kisses down Dean’s legs until the boxers were on the floor. 

Cas looked up at Dean and saw him wiping away tears. “You sure this is ok?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I just didn’t think you’d want me like this.”

Cas kissed back up Dean’s body and kissed his lips softly. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve, uh, we’ve never done it like this. Not that I’m complaining. I mean I like how we normally have sex, but this is...nice.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “If I’ve failed to make sure you knew how cherished and special you are to me every time we’ve been together then, I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. We always get so worked up that we forget to slow down and worship each other.”

Dean nodded and leaned up to kiss Cas. “We need to do that more often.” Dean kissed Cas again. “Less talking and less clothes.”

Cas chuckled and removed his own boxers. He kissed Dean softly as he cupped his cheek. “I love you so much.”

Dean blushed and looked away. “I love you, too.”

Cas kissed Dean’s chest then reached for the lube. He poured some on his fingers and gently pushed one into Dean as he flicked his tongue over his nipple. Dean moaned and arched his back, his fingers tangling in Cas’ hair.

Cas smirked and sucked Dean’s nipple into his mouth as he gently thrust his finger into him. Dean gasped when Cas tugged with his teeth then kissed across his chest to give the same treatment to his other nipple. Dean keened and moaned as Cas moved between his nipples working them until they were tender to the touch. His finger continued its slow and gentle thrusts. Cas pushed a second finger into Dean, making him gasp.

Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean as his fingers slowly worked him open. “You’re so beautiful.” Cas whispered. And he really was. Dean was flushed and relaxed under Cas’ attention. His pupils were dilated and his fingers were tangled in his own hair. His chest was heaving and his hips were moving to match the thrusts of Cas’ fingers. And his cock, his beautiful cock, was hard and flush and had beads of precum dripping onto his stomach. How had he never taken the time to see the man that he loved like this before?

Dean’s dick twitched and released more precum when he saw Cas’ eyes on it. “Cas...please…”

Cas’ eyes flicked up to meet Dean’s. “What do you need, love?”

Dean pulled at his own hair and gasped when Cas’ fingers brushed his prostate. “Touch it. Please touch it, Cas.”

Cas would do better than just touching it. He leaned down and ran his tongue from Dean’s balls to the head of his cock then sucked it into his mouth, slipping his tongue into the slit. Dean cried out as his hips bucked into Cas’ mouth then pushed back on his fingers. Cas slowly bobbed his head as he worked a third finger into Dean. One of Dean’s hands tangled in Cas’ hair and Cas slowly pulled off.

“Touch it like that?”

Dean whined. “Yes. Please, Cas.”

Cas took Dean back into his mouth and bobbed his head slowly. He thrust his fingers into Dean a few more times then removed them as he pulled away. Dean whined and looked at Cas. He was a wreck and Cas didn’t think he’d ever seen anything as beautiful as Dean was right now.

“Shhh. I’m going to take care of you.” Cas said as he spread lube on himself then slowly pushed into Dean. Dean moaned and pushed back. He ran his hand over Cas’ back as he closed his eyes.

Cas kissed Dean softly. “You’re it for me, Dean Winchester. I don’t want this with anyone else.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “You’re it for me, too.”

Cas smiled as he slowly started thrusting into Dean, enjoying the little sounds Dean made. Cas thought his favorite sounds were the moans and groans Dean made when they had heated sex, but those didn’t compare to these soft, intimate sounds he was pulling from Dean right now. 

Cas kissed and nipped at Dean’s neck as he slipped a hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Dean’s cock and stroking. His hips snapped a little harder and faster and Dean gasped and he rocked to chase his orgasm. Cas could tell he was close so he focused on Dean’s prostate, making Dean cry out.

Dean’s fingers tangled in Cas’ hair and pulled his head so their lips connected. He pushed his tongue into Cas’ mouth once his lips parted. Their tongue met and danced as Dean felt his body tightening. He cried out into Cas’ mouth as his orgasm hit and he shot cum across their chests and Cas’ hand. Cas’ hips snapped a few more times then Cas was filling Dean as he groaned into the kiss.

Cas pulled back and rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder as they both panted. “I didn’t mean to propose. If it’s too early for that then I’ll understand. But I want you to know it’s what I want.”

“Dude. Shut up.” Cas lifted his head and looked down at Dean’s smiling face. “That was me saying yes, you assbutt. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Cas grinned so big his cheeks hurt. “Really?”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, really. Didn’t you hear me say you’re it for me, too?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean continue to use their words 😱

Cas laid back on the bed with Dean snuggled on top of him. He stroked Dean’s bare back with his fingers. “Have you ever dated?”

“Had a boyfriend before...you know. Broke up after that happened.”

“So only someone in high school? You didn’t date anyone else?”

Dean shook his head. “Just Benny and you. What about you?”

Cas ran his fingers up and down Dean’s spine. “The last guy I dated was Balthazar. We had a connection and I loved him, but not like I love you. So maybe I didn’t really love him or we just never go to that point. I don’t know. I do know my touch aversion played a huge role in why we’re not together. We tried...I tried. We were intimate and it made my skin crawl.”

“Is he the one Charlie scared away?”

“She told you about that?” Dean nodded. “That wasn’t Balthazar. That was Raphael. I don’t like to talk about him.”

“I don’t like to talk about Roy, but I know you’re going to make me.”

“Roy?”

Dean sighed. “John’s friend.”

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. “You’re right. It’s not fair for me to expect you to talk about that if I can’t tell you about Raphael.” Cas played with Dean’s hair. “He didn’t care about my touch aversion. If he wanted sex then we had sex. I’d try to explain that I wasn’t comfortable with us touching like that, but it never stopped him. He’d push me on the bed and get our pants down enough that he could ride me.”

Dean shifted so he was looking down at Cas. “He raped you?”

“What? No.”

“You told him no and he still forced you to have sex, Cas. That’s the definition of rape.”

Cas’ brows furrowed. “But he was my boyfriend. We were supposed to do things like that with each other.”

“Seriously, Cas? You can’t be that stupid. I know you’re not. Charlie said you told her you felt like he was molesting you because the touches were unwanted. You never told her the touches were sex did you?”

Cas sighed and turned his face away from Dean. “No.”

“How many times, Cas?”

Cas shrugged. “We were together almost two months. But, Dean, I wanted to be with him like that. I just couldn’t handle touching him. I just...I wanted to be normal. I forced myself to try to be normal then when I tried to pull away…”

“He forced you.” Cas nodded. “Our first time? Did you do that because you felt forced?”

“No! God, no. I wanted you. I  _ really _ wanted you. It felt amazing, Dean. Before you the only part that felt good was the release. I couldn’t understand why people craved sex. With you, I understand completely.”

Dean smiled softly and laid his head back on Cas’ chest. “What about our first kiss?”

Cas laughed softly and played with Dean’s hair. “You shocked the hell out of me. When you got on top of me I was worried you’d be like him. But that kiss...it was perfect. After you left my room I missed you. I wanted you back in my bed so I could hold you like this...just with clothes on. I’ve never formed a bond that quickly and I’ve never been ok with intimate touches. That night confused me.”

“Watching me shake my junk for two weeks must have had an effect on you.” Dean said playfully.

Cas chuckled. “As entertaining as it was, no, it didn’t. I think everything goes back to the night with Gabe. I saw him pay you to give me a lap dance. You took his money and came over and took me to the back and gave me a stiff drink then you were gone. I knew there was something different about you.”

Dean ran his hand over Cas’ chest. “I saw how you reacted when Ketch gave you one. You looked like you just wanted the floor to open up and swallow you. Then your cousin was walking around trying to find someone else to take his place before you’d even had time to recover. I told him if he doubled the money I’d take really good care of you. A stiff drink and a room by yourself was what you needed.”

“It really was. I tried to find you to thank you, but was told you’d left already.”

Dean kissed Cas’ chest. “If I’d known you were gonna be looking for me I would have stayed, but Sammy wasn’t feeling good so I headed out early.”

Cas drew shapes on Dean’s back with his fingers. “No, you were where you needed to be. I went back the next night with the thought that I’d thank you. After I got there I realized how weird that was. I was there specifically to thank you for not giving me a lap dance. I was about to leave when I heard things Dick was saying he’d do to you. He wasn’t saying he wanted to do these things like he was a horny perv that was fantasizing. He was saying he  _ would _ do them. You’d saved me so I decided I’d be there to save you.”

Dean snuggled closer. “You’ve never told me what you heard.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean as he blinked back tears. “You don’t want to know. Trust me. I just know a few hours in a warehouse wasn’t going to be enough for him. He wasn’t going to let you leave that warehouse with me. And...if he figured out who I was, I wouldn’t have left it alive.” Cas felt Dean’s tears hit his chest. “I’d like to think that if you hadn’t done what you did, that I would have done something. I had my knife on me. I think if he’d started to hurt you that I would have acted. I would have stabbed the guys that had me. I didn’t think about him having a gun. I imagine if he pulled it on me you would have handled him. But the scenarios that played through my head after it was all over had us getting hurt. I’d get shot and he’d hurt you or you’d wrestle with him and get shot and I’d lose you.” Cas wiped away his tears. “You did the right thing, Dean. Trust me. You had to get out of there.”

Dean sniffled and nodded against Cas’ chest. “I trust you.” Dean wiped at his eyes then took a deep breath. “Roy wasn’t just one time. He...he showed up once every week or two. If I fought then he’d say he’d get Sammy to help pay off John’s debt. Sammy was only 12. What kind of sick fucker goes after a kid?” Dean took a shaky breath. “Benny was my first. I thank god that he and I had sex before that asshole showed up.”

“How long did that go on?”

Dean sighed. “About six months. I turned 17 during that time. Roy told John that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to take me to the courthouse and make me his. John actually said he could.” Cas gasped and held Dean tighter. “Sammy got into it with John and dad gave him a shiner. Then we fought and I made Sammy pack and I grabbed a few things and we left.”

Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Dean shrugged a little. “At least Sammy didn’t.”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through it either, Dean.”

“I know, but...I wouldn’t go back and make it not happen.”

Cas looked down at Dean. “Why not?”

“If it didn’t happen then I wouldn’t have packed up and left. I wouldn’t have ended up in KC working in that sleazy club. I wouldn’t have met you.”

Cas lifted Dean’s chin, kissing him softly. “You don’t know that. Maybe you still would have moved here and we might have met some other way.”

“We wouldn’t be here right now. Sammy would still be in school in Lawrence so I’d still be there. He’d get into some great college, hopefully Stanford, and I’d drive him out there and not come back. We wouldn’t end up meeting for years, if we ever met at all.”

Cas hated to admit it, but Dean did have a point. “But you would have ended up meeting someone else and-“

Dean’s pushed his finger against Cas’ lips. “He wouldn’t be you. I’d go through it all over again if I knew it would bring me back here, laying in bed with my fiancé.”

Cas blinked back tears and nodded.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys announce their engagement and have a photo shoot

Dean rubbed his face as he woke up. His brows furrowed and he looked at his hand. A ring. A beautiful wooden ring with a silver core. He moved it around with his fingers checking how it felt. It fit perfectly and felt amazing. Cas really had proposed to him. It wasn’t just a dream.

Dean got out of bed, pulling on his boxers and some jeans. He slowly made his way down the stairs.

Sam looked up when he heard him. “Dean! How are you feeling?” 

Dean smiled and glanced from Cas, who was sitting on the couch, to his brother. “I’m good, Sammy. So did Cas give you the big news?”

Sam looked from Dean to Cas, then back to Dean. “Big news?”

Dean held his hand up. “He proposed.”

“What? So everything really is good?” 

Dean nodded as he walked over to Cas and sat beside him. “Yeah. Everything’s good.” Dean kissed Cas softly. “When’d you have time to get a ring?”

Cas lifted Dean’s hand and looked at the ring. “I didn’t. It’s one of mine that I never wear. I thought it might be something you’d like. If you’d rather we go shopping-“

Dean cut Cas off with a kiss. “I love it. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Cas smiled. “It was made by a local artist. I shot the photos for his catalogue and website. I ended up buying that one that day. Did you look inside?”

Dean shook his head and removed the ring. He laughed when he saw what was engraved into the silver of the band. Wings. Freaking wings. “Guess it was meant for me, huh.” He said as he put it back on.

“That’s what I was thinking.”

Dean smiled and snuggled against Cas, laying his head on his shoulder. He watched as Cas worked on editing. “You should delete that session, babe. We weren’t in a good place.”

Cas turned his head slightly to kiss the top of Dean’s head as he worked. “I know, but I still got some good shots and you showed a lot of emotion.”

Dean took Cas’ hand in both of his, halting his progress. “I had a lot of emotion because I was about to leave you, Cas. I don’t want to see them. Please.”

Cas turned so he could look at Dean. The tears in his fiancé’s eyes told him all he needed to know to make the decision. He’d honestly almost lost Dean. He took his hand back and closed out of Lightroom then went into the folders and found the one for that day. He right clicked and hit delete then emptied the recycling bin. 

Dean kissed Cas’ shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I’d do anything for you, love. If seeing that session hurts you that badly then there’s no reason to keep it. I’d never use the pictures because I wouldn’t want you to see them and feel that pain all over again.”

Dean smiled and snuggled even closer, wrapping his arms around Cas’ midsection. “What are we doing today?”

Cas glanced at Dean. “I wasn’t planning anything. Don’t you still need rest?” Dean shrugged. “You’re being very cuddly. If I had been in the bed when you woke up you’d still be up there.”

“Maybe, but you weren’t and I wanted to be close to my fiancé.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s forehead. “I think the girls are still coming over. Maybe we could do a small session with you and me. I’m seeing our hands bound together. Some with harnesses that are attached. Nothing intense today.”

“That sounds like your version of engagement photos.”

Cas chuckled. “With you? Yeah. It kinda is. We can do traditional ones later, if you’d like.”

Dean kissed Cas’ neck. “But we aren’t traditional. Might shock some family and friends, but as long as they can’t see below the belt they shouldn’t care that much. And if they do, fuck ‘em.”

“I’d rather fuck you.”

“I’m always up for that.”

Sam groaned from in the kitchen. “Still here, guys.”

Dean laughed. “Like you don’t know we are.”

“I don’t need to hear it or hear you talk about doing it.”

“Sorry, Sammy.”

The front door opened and Charlie slowly walked in with Gilda. “Hey, guys. How are things going?” She asked timidly.

“Things are good, Charlie. Thanks for asking.”

Dean waved over his shoulder with his left hand. “Really good.”

“No way! Shut up!” Charlie ran to the couch, grabbing Dean’s hand and pulling it to her, making his arm twist weird.

“Hey! Owww! Red, that’s kinda attached, you know.”

“You’re engaged?!?”

Cas chuckled. “We are.”

“Congratulations.” Gilda said as she hugged Cas from behind.

“You went from not talking to engaged?!?”

Dean shifted so his arm hurt less. “There was talking first...and sex.”

Charlie squealed and tugged Dean’s hand even closer now that she could. Dean hit the back of the couch the an ‘oof’ and Cas tried to refrain from laughing. “Isn’t this the ring that-?”

“It is.”

“Wow.”

Dean looked between them. “The ring that what?”

“That cost a small fortune. She gave me a hard time about spending so much on it and never wearing it.” Cas turned to look at Charlie. “I want to do a small session today with Dean. I’ll need your help with some of the rope work and with taking the pictures.”

“Hell yeah! You know I’ll help!”

“Can I have my hand back now?” Dean asked as he tugged his hand from Charlie’s grasp. “Thank you.”

Cas kissed Dean softly and took his hand in his. “Come on. I want some pictures of us.” He said as he got up and tugged on Dean’s hand. Dean got up and followed Cas to the studio. Cas smiled as he removed Dean’s clothes and then his own. He kissed Dean softly then turned to Charlie. “I just want the first ones to be our hands bound together. I want to be able to see the ring on his finger.”

Charlie nodded and quickly bound their hands and took a few shots then showed them to Cas and Dean. 

“Perfect.” Cas said with a smile.

Cas had Charlie tie them in a harness that wrapped around both of their torsos leaving no space between their bodies. He had Dean sit on a table and wrap his legs around his waist and had Charlie bind his ankles together. He wove a beautiful harness on Dean with green rope and helped Dean do a matching harness on him with blue. The extra rope hanging roughly where their hearts were. Cas and Dean wove the extra through each other’s harness so blue bled into green and green bled into blue. They took a few shots just looking at each other or gently touching the others face before they were kissing and Charlie was getting it all. 

Cas pulled back and glanced at Charlie. “Can you make sure we’re anchored to each other?”

Charlie checked the ropes and made sure to tie the ends off. “Ok. You’re anchored.”

Cas helped Dean sit on the table again and instructed Charlie to bind his feet like before. Cas kissed Dean softly. “You still prepared enough?” Dean swallowed hard and nodded. Cas got his hand between them, pushing his cock against Dean’s hole. Dean sucked in air as he shifted his hips and sank onto him. “Don’t move.”

Cas held his hands behind his back and had Charlie bind them then shift Dean’s ankles up so his hips would stay like they were. She then took a length of rope and tied it to the rope around Cas’ arms “Now his arms.” Dean put his arms behind him and allowed Charlie to bind them as he stared into Cas’ eyes. “You’re sure we’re anchored?”

“Yes, but I’ll support him just in case.”

Cas nodded and moved so Dean was no longer being held up by the table. Charlie held the back of his shoulders as she slowly allowed him to lean back, then let go.

Dean tensed and looked slightly panicked. “Hey. You’re anchored to me. You’re not going to fall. Just calm down.” Cas glanced at Gilda. “Could you stand nearby so he feels more comfortable?”

Gilda moved closer. “I’m right here, Dean. If you feel uncomfortable just say yellow and I’ll give you some support until you feel safe again.”

Dean nodded. “Move your hips, love.” Dean bit his lower lip as he worked his leg muscles and abs to move his hips. He couldn’t get the long strokes that he loved like this, but it still felt amazing. Dean moaned as he worked his hips harder. The angle Cas wanted him in made sure there was friction on his prostate with every motion he made.

Having Cas stand as still as possible to keep them balanced was driving Dean crazy. He wanted Cas’ hips moving against his own. Sweat was trickling down his forehead and on down his body. His muscles were burning. “Cas…” he whimpered.

Cas took a deep, shaky breath. “Bring a ring down and attach his harness to it.” Charlie did as she was told and lifted the ring until it was tight, but hadn’t lifted Dean’s body any higher. She picked up the camera again as Cas moved his hips, making Dean cry out.

Dean worked his hips even harder as Cas matched his rhythm. They were both panting and sweating and they maintained eye contact the whole time. Dean’s motions faltered as his breathing increased. Cas could see him tensing  up.

“Cum.” Dean cried out, throwing his head back as his cum shot into the air, falling onto his stomach and chest. Cas moved his hips a couple more times before he groaned Dean’s name and spilled inside of him.

Cas gasped for air as his knees threatened to buckle. Before he could tell Charlie and Gilda what to do they were already supporting Dean’s limp body and releasing him from the ring. Gilda kept Dean supported while Charlie wrapped an arm around Cas and helped him walk over to the bed. He carefully sat with his legs under Dean’s ass and when Charlie starred to undo the rope he stopped her.

“Get a few of us like this first.”

Dean’s body was still limp in his bonds and his face was blissed out. His eyes were lazily focused on Cas’ face. Cas was pretty sure he looked about the same. Charlie got every angle she thought Cas would want then she and Gilda both worked on removing the ropes. Once they were off, Cas laid down and pulled Dean against him, kissing the top of his head. He cut his eyes at Charlie when he heard the camera and smiled at her, then went back to focusing on Dean.

“Did you like that?”

Dean nodded and ran his hand over Cas’ chest. “That was amazing, Cas.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ve been wanting to do something like that with you for a while.”

“Mmm. I’m glad you did.” Dean shifted so he was leaning over Cas and kissed him deeply. Cas’ hands roamed over Dean’s back and ass and carded through his hair until he pulled back and they both gazed into each other’s eyes. “I love you, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean.”


End file.
